Goreshitdeath

I support the Holocaust of Re-makes

2007-02-07T23:29:00.000-08:00

The only version of the movie that should exist

I avoid paying attention to re-makes. They're dispensible bullshit that nobody remembers a week after it comes out anyways, especially in this short attention span society where trends that were so huge are forgotten as if they never existed in the first place. Why bother bitching about them right? Us true fans will always have the timeless original film and nobody can ever fuck with it cause it's immortalized so just let the trendy mallgawth fags have their bottle that they'll get bored of after puberty (or whenever they stop being stupid). Like all other re-makes, that was my attitude about "Cannibal Holocaust" at first. Later I realized, it's pretty damn insulting that some fuckwad producers think us true horror fans would buy into this shit just cause they exploited the beloved "Cannibal Holocaust" name on it as if it were a brand name for mindless consumption (BLASPHEMY!). Another thing pissing me off is that the money going to this garbage could be invested into a new movie that's socially relevant to today's culture. "Cannibal Holocaust" was a very radical film that became synonymous with the ultra-violent 80's splatter era. It made an actual contribution to horror history, we don't need it to be recycled into something inferior. Sure, you can point out "The Fly", "Thing", "Nosferatu", and "Last House on the Left" were re-makes but those movies did something radical with the original tame movies, a re-make of Cannibal Holocaust would be pointless because the original already is radical to the max, there's nothing more to explore in the concept! So fuck the people saying "you haven't seen it yet, don't judge it". They obviously don't get it and probably only heard of the movie cause a re-make was announced (if you're not bright enough to discover the movie on your own, you're not bright enough to watch it). Also the original movie was very organic by utilizing genuine tribal people and having a micorscopic budget. Nobody can ever re-create the magic of "Cannibal Holocaust" so why not invent something new? There's probably a lot of good horror scripts out in the world that aren't given a chance just cause scumbag market researchers don't see investing in them as a lucrative move. So basically there are two reasons I support the Holocaust of "Cannibal Holocaust" the remake: 1) Out of spite of being insulted by fuckwad producers abusing one of the most notorious and sacred cult movies and 2) To encourage NEW movies that are relevant to today's world and deserve a chapter of its own in horror history. Are MTV-editing and dumb pale CGI ghost kids the best modern horror "filmmakers" can come up with? SIGN THE PETITION AND SPREAD IT EVERYWHERE YOU CAN. A "Black Sunday" re-make was never made because of a petition just like this one so sign it all of you, it really does make a difference!

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/cannibalholocaustremake

Through the Looking Glass (1976)

2007-02-06T01:35:00.000-08:00

A bizzare, surreal, sadistic, and creepy supernatural tale from the 70's that resembles more of a twisted Euro-horror/exploitation film than a porno. The movie is about a rich blonde woman (so fucking hot!) depressed with her bourgeoisie lifestyle and dead father. To escape such a lame sexless life (her husband sucksass), she indulges in perversions in front of a mirror. This mirror proves to be not just any other mirror (it's a gateway beyond your wildest dreams...and nightmares mwhahaha) and a lot of weird shit goes on as she continues her sexual activities. She even ends up talking like Linda Blair in the Exorcist, goes on psychotic rants, and has sex with a transexual, a ghost, and her dead father????! The explicit sex scenes are either extremely erotic or extremely disturbing, no in betweens...mostly disturbing though. In one scene there was a sick orgy with upper class Victorian snobs and in another scene there was a bathtub full of piss and shit with a bunch of naked nutcases around the place. I don't wanna mention more of the specific crazy happenings that the mirror leads to cause that spoils the cool mystery appeal the plot has. Lets just say the atmosphere and scenes remind me of a mix between "Salo" and "El Topo". Taboos like incest, child abuse, and rape (very violent rape scene here) are all present in this demented art/horror/drama/roughie too. I don't really like calling this a porno because the "porno" label really stigmatizes this with "mainstream/softcore" horror fans not open to explicit gritty sex in a film. Oh well, their loss if they don't want to see it just cause it has some porn elements. The hellish depiction of actual penetration and genitals really gives the movie a more creepy unsettling feel that other horror movies fail to achieve. If you like dark atmospheric horror that gets ridiculously sleazy and sadistic as if it were Alice in Wonderland written by Marquise De Sade himself, you need this movie now! Porn legends Jamie Gillis and Terri Hall (RIP) are here too.

You're not a GOREWHORE, just a WHORE

2007-02-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of this bullshit! There's all these cluless bitches calling themselves "Gorewhore", "Goregrrl", or some other cliche gore female amalgam. The only Gore they know is Al Gore. Go to myspace, search for display name "Gore Whore" and you'll find nothing but the biggest posers ever. Their favorites movies are the usual mainstream/Blockbuster hipster list:"Clerks, House of a 1000 Corpses, Hostel, SAW, Kill Bill, Nightmare Before Christmas, Land of the Dead, Fight Club, Donnie Darko, Requiem for a Dream, Pulp Fiction, Clockwork Orange, Devil's Rejects, gory s1ck sh1t!" They usually listen to metalcore, emo, nu-metal, or shitty goregrind and brutal death if they think they're "underground". It's funny how they can name a million worthless bands but can hardly think of a single good gore movie (yet they're called "GOREWHORE"?). Maybe it's cause it's easier and trendier to suck "Anal Putrid Suckment's" cock instead of a horror director's cock? The term "Scream Queen" means nothing now. All these hags try to hide how skanky they are by putting on fake blood and dying their hair black. Next thing you know they're at horror conventions calling themselves a "Scream Queen" and bragging about being whores for gore even if they never even did an actual movie...or know an actual movie. They'll make myspace profiles of themselves photoshopped with CGI fake blood and a MTV-style dark lighting too, UGH! It's bitches like these that make a mockery of horror. They use it as nothng but dumb fashion cause they probably want to impress their equally poser boyfriends. Thanks to them, Hot Topic saturates and monoplizes the entire market with their "dark goth gore horror". Whenever I say I'm a horror fan, your average idiot will think I'm into women that call themselves "Gore Whore". If you say you're into horror porn, your average idiot will think of those pieces of shit called Suicide Girls and movies like "Porn of the Dead" or "Re-Penetrator". I hate these fucking posers cause they think they're like me and will say the most cringe-inducing things ever (lol, we both l1ke horror, L0l, d1d U se3 SAW 3 yet? I <3 th3 g0R3) . How dare they, what an insult! It's so frustrating seeing 99% of horror webzines, magazines, and movies catering to fucks like those instead of real horror fans. Fuck you posers, get to the next trend already and leave my beloved horror alone.

Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)

2007-02-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

If you don't like fancy high brow arthouse films just stop reading this review right now. Anyways, for you cinema geeks out there still reading, here's my fav Ingmar Bergman film. Bergman is like one of the most respected directors ever and for good reasons thanks to "Seventh Seal". It's a film shot with beautiful camerawork, top notch music, dialogue that has profound statements about the meaning of life, and a solid cast. The guy that plays Death here is pretty damn creepy even if he is just wearing a hooded cape with no special make-up or anything else. The movie is set during the black plauge and after the Crusades. A knight meets Death and challenges him to a game of chess. If he wins, he keeps his life, if not he's dead. A lot more goes on in the movie beyond this chess game and philosophical themes are cleverly explored. One of the finest films ever made on a legitimate technical level. Every good serious cinema appreciator I assume has seen this or is going to see it eventually.

Naked Lunch (1991)

2007-02-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

The movie started off good. Everything was simple, Peter Weller was some exteriminator and his wife was a junkie on bug powder. Gradually the movie snowballed into a shitload of details that got confusing and then eventually too boring to bother following. I sat through the whole thing and felt 2 hours was way too long for a movie based on not much. The story was a mess. I didn't know what the fuck was going on after 30 minutes of the non-stop talking about umm I dunno. There was something about being an agent and typing reports....also something about being homosexual. The movie does have some interesting surreal moments though with the creature typewriters (organisms fused with mechanisms is a signature of director Cronenburg's work). Pretty much, the only scenes I enjoyed were the ones with the Star Wars looking aliens and that one scene with the creature dry humping stuff. This movie was based on a book I never read before so there probably were some hidden meanings or metaphors that went over my head, although I did read somewhere before that this movie was based more on the author's real life and his drug usage that gave him hallucinations. Apparently the author writes in an unstructured way too so that explains the lack of anything to pay attention to in the movie. I'm a Cronenburg fan, not my favorite film of his even though his other fans love this the most. Hell, I even liked "History of Violence" more, a very unpopular thing to say around hardcore Cronenburg fans. "Videodrome" had a more interesting concept and "Brood" was a solid story, "Naked Lunch" just left me frustrated to try to get into. Good thing I only rented this from netflix, Criterion DVDs are too damn expensive.

The Farmer's Daughter (1973)

2007-01-29T21:37:00.000-08:00

Zebedy Colt's first film that has vicious rapes, sexual humiliation, violence and a pissed-off dork with a fro (his voice is funny too). The movie is kinda like grindhouse classics "Last House on the Left" and "Fight for your Life" when three sadistic convicts that escaped from prison stumble upon the farm where a farmer, his wife, his three daughters, and the farm hand dork with a fro live and will be abused. These three bad guys are really mean fuckers and get their perverted ways with the women cause they got a gun they're not afraid to flaunt. They managed to get sloppy blowjobs and brutally sodomize the farmer's daughters. The rough forced sex scenes are morally repugnant and add to the vile sleazy experience that is meant to shock the viewer I guess (cause I just can't picture anyone beating off to this nasty stuff, reminded me of Forced Entry). Things get over the top when one of the farmer's daughters is forced to give the farmer (keep in mind her father) a blowjob. Those escaped convicts aren't the only villains though. The farmer's daugthers are pretty damn perverted and evil too and drove the farm hand dork to insanity. Everyone gets their revenge on each other in the end somehow so this movie has some poetic justice. The dork with the fro had the harshest revenge of all that surprised everyone and really showed his true colors. "Farmer's Daughters" is a movie not afraid of showing a twisted side of humanity, definitley not for the politically correct!...or for people that want a clean arthouse film cause this movie has a filthy gritty look and some of the editing is a mess (although that adds to the filthy gritty charm) Cduniverse has it at the cheapest I've seen it, go get it from them. The DVD comes with 2 other Zebedy Colt films, look for the "Cult 70s Porno Director: Zebedy Colt XXX Triple Feature" DVD from Alpha Blue Archives.

The Impossible Kid (1982)

2007-01-29T20:31:00.000-08:00

What's not to love? It's Weng Weng and his crazy antics. We see him do some karate asskicking, hit people with a stick 5X taller than him, ride a mini motorcycle, kiss women that find him irresistable, and do jump flips in this one. This is just about as good as Weng Weng's other movie "For Yu'r Height Only". I forget what the story was here, his movies aren't really known for their profound coherent stories you know. There was something about a ransom and the bad guy wore a KKK mask. I think this one was called "Impossible Kid" cause they had those self destructing tapes. "Mission Impossible" (the TV show, not the gay movie) had those tapes that exploded after watching them right? Not much else to say about this movie, you won't be dissapointed if you were looking forward to Weng Weng doing goddamn amazing things and beating up bad guys. That's pretty much the entire movie. Anything that guy does is simply brilliance. He could be playing pogs or just be brushing his teeth and it would still look awesome. What a great guy Weng Weng was. As far as I know, the easiest and only non-bootleg way to get this movie is to buy this "50 Movie Pack Martial Arts" DVD Collection that costs about $15 usually. It's worth every penny. I love the way they dubbed Weng Weng's voice, it so doesn't match him!! After you watch this you'll want it ASAP.

The Taking of Christina (1976)

2007-01-29T19:04:00.000-08:00

One of my fav films. The cover looks like a whimpy chick flick, but this is a nasty rape/revenge hardcore sexploitation classic. Kinda like "I Spit on Your Grave" and "Axe" but a lot more mean-spirited than those two flicks. Everything starts off with some chick fantasizing about getting married with a guy she's been seeing for a long time. She was saving her virginity just for him cause she was the innocent type that still believes in sex after marriage. Later her whole life is ruined when she gets kidnapped by these two criminal buddies (one a sadistic mysoginist and the other a sensitive dork that doesn't approve of his buddy's antisocial ways, but still a criminal too). Earlier these guys were with hookers but one of them got pissed off and said he didn't like filthy whores you have to pay for, that's why he went out and abducted some more wholesome pussy right after he beat up one of the hookers. After tying the chick to a bed and violently raping her, his buddy gets to talk to the battered woman, sympathizing with her...and then also fucking her (they don't call this "Taking of Christina" for nothing). Suddenly the chick is cool with these guys and wants to live with them, even gets in a hot threesome with them (huh?!) but something drastic happens in the suprisingly violent end. There's also some other fucked up scenarios that are funny in an ironic way, you really need this! It's a very solid film that has actual character development and pretty deep story too, top notch work for an ultra-sleazy porno. Tom Savini I read in Cinema Sewer made an appearance here also, that makes it even more interesting. Cduniverse has it at the cheapest I've ever seen it, go get it from them.

The Devil Inside Her (1977)

2007-01-16T23:01:00.000-08:00

I knew this movie would rule as soon as I saw the poster. Weird sleazy satanic porn written, directed, and starring Zebedy Colt (the psycho in Sex Wish), that guy is awesome, I consider him a porn legend. He plays an abusive bible-thumping asshole that forbids his daughters from anything sexual. Somehow one of his daughers awakens the Devil out of jealousy of her sister's lover and evil shit ensues. The devil is such a sick bastard that he'll transform into a family member before raping someone, I guess that counts as incest, eww. The sex scenes have an unholy soundtrack giving the film even more of a sinister feel. Things get over-the-top in the orgy scene that involved rough gangbangs, a golden shower, and everything having a red tint. I should mention that the devil looks like a KISS reject wtih balls made of rubber. For some reason, the devil has a stretchy scrotum. It made me cringe when he kept pulling on his balls as he was jerking off. I thought the guy's skin was going to rip.

Anyways, there's a lot more weridness and sleaze in this movie, plus the story and characters are pretty solid, see it for yourself and go get a copy from cduniverse since buying straight from Alpha Blue Archives is ridiculous.

Hardgore (1974)

2007-01-16T22:31:00.000-08:00

A movie about a nympho going in a hospital where strange sadistic stuff happens, which leads to some nonsensical killing and non-stop sex. Not as gory as the name would lead you to believe. Essentially it's just a porno, a really sloppy depraved porno with necrophilia and rape (although the ideas are more depraved than the actual execution). One guy bangs a chick while she's in a guillotine and blows his load for an ultimate orgasm as soon as she gets decapitated. Another scene involved a guy's dick getting ripped off. Like I said though, what you see is depraved only when you think about how fucked-up an idea it was, but when you actually see these scenes, it's pretty damn tame. It looks like HG Lewis gore but the camera is too shy to show it. The porno aspect ends up being like 98% of the movie. It's really weird and surreal porno though (surreal in a trashy cheeze way, not in a avant-garde art cinema way). There's an orgy with some guy in a devil mask going bonkers, I think he's like a leader of the secret satanic cult going on in the hospital or something. There was also a revolving sex scene where a guy and chick were in a room that kept spinning as they screwed each other. Just thinking about it makes me dizzy. All the sex scenes feel like they take forever (because they actually do take forever), they're not that hot, and they're actually boring as hell. I forgive the shortcummings of this film just because of a talking dildo and the guillotine fuck scene. Man, that scene is funny. Sure the decapitation didn't involve gushing gore, but the idea is just so over-the-top and twisted that it's comedy gold. I appreciate this movie for the weirdness and nasty ideas than the actual gore or porn. Alpha Blue Archives released this on DVD but I wouldn't spend $25 plus $7 shipping on it.

Women on the Run (1993)

2007-01-11T08:23:00.000-08:00

This has the best kung-fu and action sequences you'll ever see in a CAT III. Very impressive swift movements and fancy strikes, especially when the one chick starts swinging a pole and kicks some ass with it. It's actually more of a buddy/road/thriller than an over-the-top sleazefest, which CAT III's usually are. The sleaze is still here though when you have a story about a kung-fu champion woman's life turned to shit when her boyfriend pimps her out and turns her into a junkie hooker. One day she got pissed off when a "customer" took a piss in her kung-fu trophy so she beats the hell out of the guy (she was naked as she did these awesome kicks). Later she ends up killing her pimp boyfriend and from then on she's been on the run as a hooker always trying to avoid the cops so she could get more drug money. Eventually she gets caught by a female cop (who too knows kung-fu) and then later they manage to become buddies on the run together out for revenge at a guy that fucked them both over real bad. There are 2 scenes that I remember being sadistic. This one scene had a dog (obviously fake) kicked like a football. And then there's a brutal and depressing rape scene when the two women are left naked in the rain as a shitload of horny drunk sailors try to have their way with them. Some naked kung-fu ensued there but it wasn't campy like the first naked kung-fu scene. This movie had a feminist tone by the way so I wouldn't say the movie went out to degrade women for pure exploitation. Overall, I thought this movie was cool, not as dark and mean-spirited as most CAT III's but not as light and easy as a buddy or action movie.

Café Flesh (1982)

2007-01-09T02:17:00.000-08:00

"Cafe Flesh" is a very unique film and an even stranger experience. It's a porno that's shot like a fancy arthouse film but starts off with a post-apocalyptic premise that sounds like something from a cheezy sci-fi flick. The movie takes place after WWIII. After a "Nuclear Kiss", majority of the world was left "Sex Negative", meaning they'd get sick if they ever tried to touch anyone sexually. A small minority of the world was left "Sex Positive" though, meaning they could fuck with no problem. The government enforces this microscopic minority into a life of performing sex on a stage so that the "Sex Negatives" can live vicariously through them basically. It looks like a silly mindless b-movie story but it does pave the way for deep concepts to be explored such as love, governing systems, jealousy, and identity. Of course the story also makes it convenient for hardcore sex scenes to arise and that they do. They're so weird with the 80's space rock soundtrack and imaginative costmes and sets, you'll find yourself hypnotized by the bizzare visuals and sounds. There was a sex scene with a guy in a rat costume and some dudes dressed up as babies in the background. And then there was one sex scene where a guy had a huge pencil for a head. It's like someone's crazy dream come to life. The cinemtography was gorgeous, every frame of the film looked like a top-notch surreal painting that should be in a prestigious gallery. Real "high art" type atmosphere. It's an awesome film for the weirdness mostly but still my favorite thing about the entire movie was Pia Snow aka Michelle Bauer who would later become a "scream queen" thanks to movies likes "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers". She goes 69 with a chick right before getting banged by some dork with sunglasses. Damn, she was seriously the hottest woman that ever graced this earth. If my penis had a time machine, it would want to be transported anywhere into a young Michelle Bauer.

If you're interested in a DVD of this, the Adult section of cduniverse should have it for $16. Interesting trivia: The guy that wrote this movie has also written for ALF, CSI, Bad Boys II, and his autobiography became a Ben Stiller movie. Strange knowing a guy that wrote episodes of Alf and CSI started out writing a sci-fi porn/art b-movie....although this movie can easily pass as just a sci-fi art b-movie if you cut out the penetration scenes. I believe this movie did get trimmed into a softcore flick and was played at mainstream theaters before. Don't bother with a softcore version, seeing sex actually happen gives the movie a better feel, after all, it's what the movie centers around in the first place, why not see sex in its truest uncensored form?

Robotrix (1991)

2007-01-07T23:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a cool action sci-fi CAT III slapstick/comedy that shows a lot of T & A and has some darker sleaze moments but is still more on the humor side. The 3 main chick characters in the movie were hot but my crotch was mostly obsessed with the Asian Goddess Amy Yip. Amy Yip is the greatest thing about this movie (or Asia for that matter), nothing like seeing a tight little asian lady with mouth-watering heavy hooters! We don't get to see her nipples in this flick but damn, those boobs look delicious no matter what. The story begins with some Middle Eastern leader's son getting kidnapped for ransom by an evil scientist that transported his mind into an unstoppable robot body (he wore leather and acted like Arnold in Terminator). A chick cop is resurrected from the dead as a robot (just like Robocop) to help the police get this guy. Amy Yip (who's a robot too) also helps in the hunt for this guy. Not really an interesting plot but it allows the action (fights and explosions) and silly antics of the police to ensue, that's all that matters really. The sleaze in this movie is due to some violent rape scenes. Apparently the Terminator-like villain is a horn dog that kills hookers. He bangs one hooker to death (he NEVER goes limp cause he's a robot) and there was another rape scene in a science lab or whatever that was pretty rough. At one point of the movie the cops try to lure the bad guy by setting up Amy Yip as a hooker. Things backfire when the cops never did catch the bad guy but end up watching Amy Yip have sex with guys she kept attracting in her hooker set-up. This scene was pretty much a comical excuse to show Amy Yip undress and make everyone drool over her goods.

Sex Wish (1976)

2007-01-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

My fav Hardcore Roughie because Zebedy Colt is the greatest psycho I have ever seen in any movie! In fact, he's more insane than Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs (personally I thought everything about Silence of the Lambs was overrated). Zebedy plays a serial killer/rapist that talks like a retarded kid one minute and then suddenly unleashes a powerful rage as he yells "It's all your fault!" for some unexplained crazy reason. Anyways the movie is about Harry Reems from "Deep Throat" and "Forced Entry" (VERY different character here), a mild-mannered guy who's life seems perfect until one day his lover gets raped and killed by Zebedy. She was raped with a vibrator while he jerked off on her....he also whipped her.....and then slit her thoat...rough shit eh? Harry was so depressed that later he's found in a bar drowning his sorrows. Two whores give him a free fuck to cheer him up and then later advise him to find and kill the bastard that killed his lover. I like how the whore dramatically tells Harry to do this right after giving him a blow job, what a weird pacing of mood. One minute a care-free threesome then suddenly a super serious moment as if the whore became a counselor instantly. Only in Porno does this kinda mood-shift exist! After the threesome Harry decides to buy a gun, searches for Zebedy, finally finds him after some leads...you know where this is going, the usual revenge formula, although the ending is kind of a nice sick twist! The most intense scene of the film was when Zebedy breaks into a black couples home and forces them to have sex with each other as he watches and points a gun at them. The dialogue is sleaze and insanity to the MAXXX here with Zebedy giving the performance of his life. He even manages to cry tears of joy, giving him an ultra deranged look. It's a very memorable scene that ends nasty. If you've seen it before, you know what I'm talking about, if not, you're in for a real shock. This movie gets hated on by politically correct people because of the brutal displays of rape. Lets get one thing clear here, just about all the sex are Harry's scenes and those are consensual. And also the movie doesn't make the rapes erotic at all. I don't think the movie wanted people to beat off to those scenes, you couldn't even really see the chick during them. They were meant to be disturbing so you can want Harry's character to have revenge even more.

Raw Force (1982)

2007-01-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

Some evil guy that looks like Hitler has to feed Cannibal Monks hookers so they can have the power to make zombies on some island where he's doing some illegal shit. When a ship is on its way to this island, some kung-fu fighting with the zombies of course occurs because the people on the ship happen to know how to kick ass. Sounds like b-movie/exploitation/action heaven but I didn't find the movie over-the-top and wild enough to live up to its insane premise. A couple dashes of blood, a few gore-lite decapitations, and pretty standard action/fight scenes, nothing really mind-blowing but its decent enough to be worth a look for the cult movie geek that has to experience the most obscure titles out there. The story was super retarded, I forget what was going on most of the time cause the movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be a sitcom one minute or an action movie the next. I remember the movie became a party movie when eveyrone on the ship started to socialize. Eww, socializing is gay! But like I said, for you b-movie freaks, it's your duty to watch this just for the sake of encyclopedic knowledge in the world of obscure cinema.

Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend (1992)

2007-01-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

This is like one of my favorite comedies now! Damn, the guy in this movie is PATHETIC and unbelievably ridiculous...yet so real. It's so SAD it's FUNNY. My favorite thing about the movie is the soundtrack, it's like classic 80's rock with long mellow solos. The other thing I dig is the cheezy acting and memorable dialogue. There's a scene in the movie where the guy looks into the mirror and says he wants to stop "yanking his dick" in his dull but comical voice. No plot to this movie really, it just gives an intimate glimpse of a day in the life of one sad lonely security guard that constantly gives us insight into his mundane observations and thoughts about sex. Any little thing, from tv commercials to his diet, he will contemplate until he comes to the conclusion that he's a depressing loser sick with a sex obsession. Bible propaganda someone slides into his door about porn being a sin and hallucinations of his father calling him a loser adds more insult to his existence. He literally most of his life eats beef jerky while wearing nothing but underwear and watching cable porn (cable porn that just consists of "butter" face chicks stripping for what feels like forever!). Whenever he's in public he'll be a voyeur, which pisses people off and makes him look up the definition of "Insanity" cause he's starting to have all the symptomns of a serial killer. Eventually he goes on to more interactive things like phone sex and then hookers, which he blows all his money on. The way he tries to haggle for lower prices with hookers as if he were in a flea market is noteworthy. He keeps up this sad, money-draining, STD infested, lifestyle until the end where he hits rock bottom. This guy is such a cheap dork that he records his fuck adventures with hookers on both a hidden tape recorder and a camcorder so he can keep re-living the experience again. I'd actually do the same if I ever wasted money on a hooker, gotta get the money's worth. Great comedy, even has its weird moments, like a chick in a movie having sex with a brain-in-a-vat. It's a super simple movie with not that much story. I could see people getting bored and then finding it pointless, but if you're a great cheeze appreciator, you'll find yourself fascinated and wondering how much more pathetic this loser's lifestyle (who ALL men can relate to at some degree) can get to the very end. This guy is like Al Bundy if Al Bundy never got married and lived alone.

Discuss the Digust

2007-01-03T22:28:00.000-08:00

I got a lot more visitors than I thought I did (the hit counter goes by unique visits, meaning it only counts the number of different people that have visited the site, not by how many times the same person hit the re-fresh button). To make this site more interactive, I decided to make a forum, feel free to register and post whatever you want. I doubt that many people will register (you lurking batards), but check it over here. I'd recommend joining so you can go on the trade board and work out DVD-R or VHS copy trade deals with me and others if you want some hard to find shit

In other news, haven't been watching movies latley, that's why reviews are not as frequent. I swear as soon as I finish this painting I'll start popping in the DVDs. Just a couple more days and I'm done with it!

One last thing, WEIRD ASIA is back! Finally! That is like the best site ever, check it out here. The guy that runs it is like the master of obscure Asian movies, I could have never imagined some of them even existed!

Unlucky Monkey (1998)

2007-01-01T23:51:00.000-08:00

Why isn't director Sabu more well known? Every movie of his I've seen is "Top 10 favorite movies of all time" worthy for me. The most popular thing he's ever done was an acting part in "Ichi the Killer". That's a shame because "Unlucky Monkey" is a way better movie on so many levels! For those of you unfamiliar with him, Sabu's films mix dark humor, fucked-up drama, ironic situtations, philosophy, and some bloody action/violence. Also his stories are not linear, as in it doesn't follow the "plot A to plot B, the end" formula. Rather, the entire movie starts with a character who's one action triggers a continous unpredictable chain reaction that eventually snowballs into an over-the-top strange moment. In the case of "Unlucky Monkey", this chain reaction starts off with a bank robbery. Only 1 of the 3 robbers survives and gets away with the crime. This one survivor accidentally kills some chick though as he ran like hell with a knife in hand. He never got caught for the murder either but his guilt gets the best of him, giving him depressing psychological turmoil as he tries to rationalize the whole ordeal. Somehow his path crosses with some yakuzas that were in some pretty deep shit. You have to discover the ironic twists of fate and how these characters coincide with one another on your own because all the fun is in seeing the unpredictable mess of a life these guys have unfold and crash. Sure there is a decent amount of bleeding throughout the film thanks to gun violence, even a guy's crotch get shot, but don't bother watching this movie if you're looking for a non-stop gunfest. A large percentage of this movie's strength is from the philosophy explored in a very natural way that anyone alive can relate to, not just some pretentious scholar asshole. If you haven't seen a Sabu film yet, this ones a good one to start off with. Also the ending in this film is so weird and amazing, I promise you will have not seen it coming, must be seen to be believed!

The Sinful Dwarf (1973)

2006-12-25T17:58:00.000-08:00

A filthy sexploitation film with an evil dwarf that talks funny and still plays with toys, a drug dealer called Santa that hides drugs in teddy bears, and a mouth-watering hot blonde wearing nothing at all...WOW, this is brilliance! The opening credits with a strange avant-garde score playing while all kinds of toys move across the screen is a wild experience alone! Besides the credits, the story alone is absurd. A married couple rent a room at a house. Little do they know that the landlords (a mother and her dwarf son) have a secret room with kidnapped women held captive and injected with heroin supplied by "Santa Clause". Basically this mother and son team are pimp masters that keep their hoes weak and addicted to drugs, rendering them into hopeless junkies. Anyways, the room these chicks are locked in serves as a whorehouse where people are free to fuck any chick in there when they pay the entrance fee to the dwarf. (there's only one customer in the entire movie though, what a booming business haha). The sadistic mother/son pimp team decide to make one of their new tenants (the super hot blonde wife) "merchandise" for their illegal business. Yep, as you can tell, this is one sleazy fucked-up movie. There's quite a number of lenghty sex scenes, especially with the customer guy and the junkie chicks. Nothing hardcore/pornographic but they're pretty damn funny. This customer guy humps this one girl like mad. I'm not sure if it even counts as rape. The women looked like they didn't want sex but had to comply. Either way, it's so politically incorrect and misogynistic that it becomes as funny as Anal Cunt lyrics. Keep in mind, "Sinful Dwarf" isn't a very gory/violent film. The harshest scene is when one woman gets fucked with a cane by the dwarf, although what goes on is left to the imagination. If you find humor in the outrageous sleaze and mistreatment of women in movies like "Pink Flamingos" and "Bloodsucking Freaks," you NEED this! I kept thinking of those two movies as I watched this thing. Even if you don't like those movies, you might find yourself intrigued by the sinister facial expressions and mean antics of that evil dwarf fucker. I love that guy! What he lacks in height, he makes up for in sleaze and hilarity.

There are rare VHS and Japanese DVD's of this that are pretty damn expensive. But don't worry, Something Weird puts this out on DVD-R, go get it from them!

A Climax of Blue Power (1976)

2006-12-25T17:02:00.000-08:00

Here's a swell sleazy roughie/porno from the 70's, back when pornos actually had some interesting stories as if they were real dramas/thrillers that just happened to have hardcore sex scenes as opposed to the softcore sex you'd see in an R-rated film. This one involves a sleazeball impersonating a cop so he can arrest hookers and tell them he'll let them free if he can bang them. He even customizes his car and has a police radio. What a genius way to save money and get some crotch action with no strings attached. We get to see two occassions of his sneaky sex adventures. In the first adventure he humiliates a whore by making her jerk off in the mud while it rains. He makes her do this after giving her some rough sex in the back of his fraudulent police car. The second adventure involved going in a massage parlor and having a lengthy threesome with two whores, mostly genital slurping ensues. "Climax of a Blue Power" becomes plot-driven when the main character witnesses a wife murder her husband. The wife never got caught but this police-impersonator becomes obsessed with punishing the bitch. This punishmet involves his cock and things get pretty mean-spirited from there, especially when the dude dresses up like Norman Bates and gives her a bubblebath where he sticks the fingers where the sun don't shine. I like how the movie actually showed the psychological turmoil the guy was going through as he kept thinking of this husband-killing wife. There are neat insights into his mind through yellow-tinted dream sequences where he fantasizes of romantic sex with her to sadistic whipping. The guy was also obsessed over this woman to prove to the world that he does have what it takes to be a cop too. Apparently he wanted to be a cop before but ended up being a loser security guard nobody respects. It's a very well made film and the acting was really impressive, especially by the main man Jason Carns. I personally enjoyed it more as a crime/drama movie more than a porno. If you're interested in the story but don't want to feel so "dirty", either get used to the hardcore scenes or just hit the fast forward button (although that might end the movie pretty early). Interesting to note that the director did do non-pornos as well like "The Black Gestapo" and even the more mainstream MGM released "Thing with Two-Heads". I never thought the guy that did a fun b-movie like "Thing with Two-Heads" did raw explicit stuff!

Forced Entry (1971)

2006-12-22T22:02:00.000-08:00

"Forced Entry" is a perfect example of cinema pushed to a grim extreme through simplicity. No extreme gore or siezure inducing effects, just the raw ugliness of a pissed-off rapist, a genuinley creepy music score, and actual war footage that didn't even have blood is enough to send shivers down an iron spine. The movie is about a scumbag Nam Vet that works at a gas station and does some sadistic stuff. He has a clever way of getting into the houses of women customers so he can rape, mentally torture, and murder them in cold blood. He'll ramble on about how he hates people and then he'll say some humiliating un-PC things to his victims. One woman is threatened with a knife and forced to suck his cock while he goes on and on about hating her socio-economic type. And another woman gets forced into sodomy thanks to a gun in the sleazeball's hand. This woman too gets attacked verbally by the madman. During these sick rape scenes, real Vietnam War footage was inserted. You'd see a sudden b/w clip of Vietnamese children crying as the rape victim was begging for agony or a clip of weapons being loaded as the guy's penis gets attention. It's an interesting "compare and contrast" between the war in Vietnam and the war in the streets of mundane America. How the guy's reign of terror ends is another interesting metaphor (not unless I'm just looking way too deep into it). He gets destroyed by two hippie women that meant no harm at all, kinda like the same way peace-lovers were the Vietnam War's antithesis. Sure this movie is a porno but I don't think people were meant to pleasure themselves to the degrading rape scenes. These scenes are terrifying! Anyone that finds themselves jerking off to these rapes is seriously a freak! I feel the movie takes advantage of being a porno so it could illustrate how brutal the crushing of innocence can be through explicit uncensored sex. Overall, a solid disturbing sleaze film with a gritty atmosphere that's so dirty that you'll wanna wash your TV in soapy water later. The only parts that kinda ruin the dark serious mood of the film is when audio clips are looped to repeat a thought and also the sodomy scene cause I think the woman was really getting penetrated in the birth canal the whole time.

The Ravager (1970)

2006-12-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

Here's an early "NAM vet gone Wild" film that you "Forced Entry" and "Combat Shock" fans might dig. The main character has this hate for lovers, lesbians, and happy people. He delights in ruining joyous occassions (with explosives) ever since the Vietnam war where he witnessed a woman being raped, tortured, and exploded (dynamite up the joytrail!) by two Viet Cong goons. The psychology of the character operates on utterly retarded bad movie logic. We first learn he gets insitutionalized after the war and then as soon as he's out after being deemed sane he goes to some store to buy demolition/explosive equipment (were explosives really that easy to buy before?). There's even a cheezy narrator throughout the film giving us insight into this demented fuck's mind as if this were some educational 50's documentary. Not that much to the story really. The guy rents out some place where the landlady is a super bitch and just goes around looking for victims whenever he's out. When he finds them he quitely spys on what they're doing (usually fucking, no hardcore penetration though) as he prepares a bomb to set-off to kill. I think the movie padded itself too much by spending a lot of time on the softcore makeout scenes before the explosions hit. Not much violence either. There were some sleazy rapes though and in one rape he ends up suffocating the chick with a pillow. Although very simplistic and not as visually graphic, the story itself about a guy obsessed with "ravaging" happy people is pretty damn fucked up, so fucked up that it's ridiculously funny. He's like a rain cloud that suddenly obstructs rays of sunshine. Overall, it's a neat antisocial tale of some perverted nutcase, obsessed with destruction and sex, going on random acts of violence cause he was mentally disturbed in a nonsensical way. This one is for bottom of the barrel trash cinema weirdos (like me) to scrap up and appreciate for what it's worth cause I just can't see casual movie fans getting much out of this.

The awesome company Something Weird makes DVD-R's of it if you're interested. They're your easiest and probably only source to catch this obscure piece of exploitation psycho nam-vet history. The quality of the release is clear, it just has scratches on the film print that look like silky spiderwebs but you'll get used to it as you watch.

Coming Soon

2006-12-17T23:36:00.000-08:00

Patiently I wait in the mail for:

MY FRIENDS NEED KILLING
SEX WISH
CLIMAX OF BLUE POWER a.k.a.The Impersonator Order
FORCED ENTRY
WONDER WOMEN
BAT PUSSY
SINFUL DWARF
THE RAVAGER
ANIMAL
KWAHERI
WITCH WITH FLYING HEAD

And I just recently watched or am going to watch:

WOMEN ON THE RUN
ROBOTRIX
EXODUS FROM AFAR
MOTHER'S DAY
A BETTER TOMORROW 1 & 2
CRIMSON
VIRGIN SPRINGS
MAN BITES DOG
DOCTOR GORE
BLOODY PIT OF HORROR
MANIAC COP
SEXANDROIDE
WEDDING THROUGH
CRIPPLED AVENGERS
DR. LAMB (UNCUT, most complete version in world)
REQUITAL (saw some of it, ultra-VIOLENT HK Gangster flick)
BAD BOY BUBBY (just watched it yesterday, BRILLIANT!)

Keep an eye out for reviews/rants of all those flicks mentioned above some time soon. I've been focuing on my "Psycho Sleaze" comic latley (I might get this thing out sooner than I expected!). Last thing I worked on was a comic called "Cut to Fuck" and it was about these siamese-twins with one of them going insane from sexual frustrations. Something disturbing happens between them, take the hint from the title, "Cut to Fuck". There's another comic I'm working on called "Breastfeeding Massacre" that involves a hooker who's face and tits get fucked up when she fucks a guy that had mutant acid cum. Later her boobs keep growing and growing until they have a life of their own and things just get drastic from then on, it's a surprise. Good stuff eh?

They Eat Scum (1979)

2006-12-13T09:49:00.000-08:00

A weird Super-8 movie that was responsible for a whole "Transgressive Art" movement. The director, Nick Zedd, even coined the term "cinema of transgression". From my understanding "Transgressive Art" is art that's shocking, taboo-breaking, and anti-conformist. Pretty much it's the kinda shit that fascinates me! There sure are a lot of wild things in this flick that would be sure to piss off conservative yuppie tastes. The movie is about this Swastika-wearin' punk chick (Suzi Putrid) in a "deathrock" band ("deathrock", another term the director invented). She has a transvestite dog-fucking brother and a mean bible-thumping father that thinks Jesus is the best thing ever. The family's crazy antics make up the first couple of minutes and doesn't resemble a linear plot to follow. I don't even know if it was intentional but parts of the movie were sped-up, making the actors sound like chipmunks. Things get a bit more coherent (although still messy!) when at CBGB's (an infamous venue) Suzi's band plays their pissed-off music (the movie inserts live shows as if you were watching actual concert footage) and then orders the crowd to go out and kill people. She preached about hatred and cannibalism because they were the main goals in life. The funniest part in speech is when she says guys should cut off their dicks and girls sew their cunts (later we do see a sewn cunt!) so they could concentrate more on random acts of violence instead of sex ("fucking is for animals" she contends). Some absurd stuff from then on happens like a chick getting her boob skin sawed off, the chick's whole body getting eaten in gory detail, a guy who for some reason lays down in the road to get run over, and a flashback of a sick-incest rapist uncle in a dress. The movie operates on messy ridiculous b-movie logic with "Suzi" (or is it?) becoming the queen of Necropolis after starting a Nuclear holocaust.

This nuclear holocaust and her being a ruler of the land later leads to a mutant revolt...a DISCO mutant revolt. It involved guys in cheap monster costumes fighting bar room brawl style to the music of the Village People! One monster is a gigantic cock roach and we later see some Roach-Gore when he's smashed in an elevator! Cannibalism, incest, bestiality (a dog whorehouse?!), rape, nazi flags, blasphemy, castration, and violence....this movie clearly wanted to push the limits of bad taste. I would say this movie is what would happen if a sleazy bohemian set out to combine the "Fuck You and your society" scumbag punk mentality with a campy b-movie, complete with overacting, zany dialogue, and ridiculous special f/x (there's even some toy animation and a "turntable of death"!). I kept thinking to myself that this was like Pink Flamingos meets GG Allin. It comes to no surprise that I later found out the director actually did know John Waters and GG Allin. A true underground piece of punk trash art that has all the elements of being a notorious cult movie. I'm not sure why this thing isn't on DVD yet and I had to see this on what looks like a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg! The director is pretty legendary, even Quentin Tarantino made reference to him in Pulp Fiction, so there definitley is a potential bigger following this movie could have if it was more known.

Love to Kill (1993)

2006-12-11T13:01:00.000-08:00

Here's a sleaze-drenched CAT III with Anthony Wong as a psychotic wife-beater who's also a lawyer...yep, a laywer, there's no limit to how sadistic this character is! The movie wastes no time to show the dark side of the guy Wong plays in a memorable performance. Within a few minutes into the movie, the guy is furiously raping his wife when he catches her watching Arnold Schwarzenegger flex his muscles on tv. Looking at other people's muscles really pissed him off! He's so pissed that he covers her head tight in a plastic bag as he delivers some rough humping. A beer bottle being shoved where the sun don't shine and other humiliating acts were done to the poor woman. Luckily the wife manages to run out into the rainy street and stumbles upon a cop who gives Anthony Wong an assbeating. Some drama happens and then later Wong's wife and her kid hide out at the cop's girlfriend's house. Things get akward when the cop starts having the hots for the young milf. The mood went from mean-spirited to humorous at this moment but then later progresses into mean-spirit mode again when Wong hunts down his missing wife. As he looks for her, he'll have sick flashbacks of his spousal abuse and also of his fucked-up childhood which reveals why he's such a crazy wife-beating scumbag. The eventual finale is when things get a bit gory and has Wong's insanity go off the charts. He wields an axe like Jack Nicholson in the Shining and tries to have a birthday party for his son..which is a nightmare for the whole family. Overall, a perfect example of grim CAT III sleaze. It gives a good look at even "White-collar" types guilty of beating their wives (as opposed to just "trailer trash") and an interesting exploration of rigid laws that prevent justice, especially with abused wives and children.

As for the movie release itself, I definitley have an edited version (Tawian VCD) but I'm not sure how much and what got cut though. The rapes were violent and there was a gory decapitation, still a graphic film even after editing. Whether the sex and violence is more over the top, I dunno. I don't think there's much more to the gore cause there's only 2 or 3 (if flashbacks count) people in the movie that end up getting murdered. The only edit that was painfully obvious and annoying was when a woman gets raped and we suddenly get a jumpy fastcut close-up to blood coming out of her mouth. Anyways, even if it was cut, the nature of the story was dark enough to be worthy of a CAT III rating and it's a film that's more "story-driven" than "gratuitous exploitation-driven" so I don't really find myself buying the uncut (and UNTRANSLATED) DVD soon just to watch what was missing, the story was what I got the most impact from.

Black Magic aka Ratu ilmu hitam (1979)

2006-12-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

This one's an awesome tale of black magic (obviously) and revenge, resulting in bizzare deaths and strange happenings. The story is simple: A girl falls in love with a guy that takes her virginity. Later this guy leaves her for some other woman. When this guy and the other woman have a wedding, the bride is driven to insanity by hallucinations and some food becomes maggot infested. It could only mean one thing, "BLACK MAGIC!". The guy suspects it's that one girl he deflowered so him and some other guys throw her down a cliff. Luckily the girl is saved by a creepy old man. She tells this old man about how she was unjustly accused of black magic so the creepy dude tells her to get revenge by actually doing black magic. Yeah that makes perfect sense, if you get punished for something you never did, you might as well do what you were accused of cause you already just paid for it, hah! She then learns the evil magic ways which the creepy guy is the master of. Doing jump flips in front of a full moon while naked and having blood poured on your head is apparently how you learn black magic. From then on, REVENGE through black magic ensues, resulting in ridiculous GORE. We see one guy's skin expand like a balloon and explode blood and another guy's head becomes so painful that he rips it off...and then his head starts flying and bites one guy. The gore scenes are not frequent but you could still enjoy this movie if you get into the whole superstitious remote village atmosphere and appreciate this tale about deception, revenge, power, and jealousy that progresses. When some lame religious nut from the city comes into the story, that's when the girl goes soft and black magic gets weaker because religious nut encourages everyone in the village to keep praying (in the movie, "prayer" to "black magic" is like "water" to "fire") . The movie doesn't end there though because the creepy black magic master still encourages revenge and for black magic to stay alive. Revenge is all that guy ever talked about. He'd say intense stuff like "pay life with life and death with death!" He ruled! Eventually the movie ends with one hell of a death! Lets just say it involves a human body exploding a bunch of times in different spots (yep, even near the groin). Try and seek this movie out if you love obscure weird stuff that has wild special f/x beyond your imaginations.

I got a dubbed english DVD-R version. I think the DVD-R was either a copy of a rare VHS or VCD, either way it's just way cheaper and easier to just go on ebay and search for the DVD-R. Hopefully ebay doesn't shut down the guy that sold it to me, latley ebay has been shutting down every bootlegger they can. Thanks to yours truly though, you can behold some great gore scenes I uploaded on youtube, check it out here.

I hate School

2006-12-05T11:34:00.000-08:00

School is ending in 2 weeks for me and that's when all this homework/schoolwork starts coming in by the shitload...so no time to update the site as frequently this week. In the mean time, you can read my latest comic and/or amuse yourself with my latest sketches

that one's for Fondlecorpses' fan contest, I'll paint it soon

Daughter of Darkness II (1994)

2006-12-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

The first Daughter of Darkness was a classic in filthy CAT III sleaze so I was interested in this sequel. Well, the sequel pretty much has nothing to do with the first. You can watch the two as complete seperate movies. There was a reference to Anthony Wong from the first movie but nothing important at all to understand the story here. In Daughter of Darkness II, we get a brand new case that different cops have to investigate. In the same fashion as the first, blood-drenched dead bodies in the beginning establish the case. From there the cops piece clues together to find out who the murderer is. Suddenly the movie indulges in perverted slapstick humor, involving a room full of guys having to jerk off into bowls so their sperm can be compared to the one at the scene of the crime. Later, a mango manages to fall in some of the semen and a dimwitted big-titted cop eats it, not knowing why the mango tastes so great. As the movie progresses, things get a lot more erotic and then darker. As flashbacks, we are told the story of a wife and husband befriending some big dude. The husband had a damaged crotch from Nam so he asks big dude to impregnate his wife (long sex scenes ensue)...this of course leads to a fucked-up love story when big dude starts having feelings for the wifey (who's pretty damn hot btw). Things get even more fucked-up when a sadistic sleazeball family kidnaps the now pregnant wife for ransom. I'll leave you at that because just you gotta see how pitch black, evil, sick, and nasty the mood of the movie becomes at this point. Lets just say the movie later involves rape, torture, humiliation, sadism, more sex, STDs, a brutal coathanger abortion, and bloody violent revenge involving sharp objects! If you liked the first Daughter of Darkness or if you just want a ridiculously mean-spirited sleazy tale, you will not be dissapointed with this flick.

The Black Klansman (1966)

2006-12-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

A Black Klansman!? What the fuck, what next, an obese anorexic, walking crippled, blind seeing-eye dog, meat-eating vegans, Homosexual Jew Nazis? It's like the inspiration for this movie happened when some kids were coming up with the most ridiculous oxymorons they could think of. The concept and title alone are pretty damn weird and automatically deserves to be in my personal "obscure insane wtf shit" collection, so you know I just had to hunt this down for the novelty value (and so I could tell annoying Dave Chapelle fans that a Black Klansman was done before Chapelle Show!). You don't really see a black Klansman though which the cover depicts. Instead a "black"/white guy who's daughter gets burned alive by the Klan wants revenge (who wouldn't?). This revenge involves him changing his identity by putting on a straight-hair wig and shaving his chin so he could pass off as a white guy and go undercover in the KKK to destory them from the inside...what's funny though is this guy could have passed off as white even without the "drastic" makeover. This makeover was as dramatic as Clark Kent changing into Superman (yeah really, glasses and a suit makes Superman a totally different person). Anyways he also dates the head Klansman's daughter to add insult to injury, that's pretty much the plot and shit that's hilarious because of how utterly unconvincing it is happens (the race transformation by a wig alone, you gotta be fucking kidding me haha, I still laugh just thinking about it). "Black Klansman" is a really obscure early exploitation film that should appeal to old school b&w b-movie fans that like tacky unintentionally funny cheeze movies. It exploits politically incorrect racial tensions, corruption, and has comical white supremacists that think Civil Rights are bad because there was nothing about them in the bible. A company called Blax (who specialize in Blaxploitations I guess) put this thing out on DVD and ebay is the only place I've found it. If you're like me, amused by crazy ideas actually being attempted on film, you might want it..just don't expect tons of sleaze and violence like all the other movies I usually view.

Ghoul School (1990)

2006-12-02T01:12:00.000-08:00

If you dig goofy ultra-low budget movies like "Flesh Eating Mothers," "Video Violence," "Bloodsuckers From Outer Space," and Troma shit, you might dig "Ghoul School" too. This movie has the same cheezy as hell fun b-movie feel as that stuff I mentioned. I was impressed by how much gore there was in this too, a gorefest! Blood squirting, poked eyes, torn limbs, wounds, meaty gore chunks, decapitated heads, and guts are here. Sure the effects are fake as fuck, but that adds more to the goofball cheeze-feel. The story involves the water at a school getting contaminated by two thugs that killed the obese janitor for some reason, which then leads to the swim team turning into people-killing Ghouls (apparently people with big teeth painted blue and bleed green). Two horror geeks, a lame heavy metal band, the basketball team, this one coach called "dick", and some other people end up getting stuck in the school. Pretty simple story. The movie then has a zombie-movie formula where people try to figure out what to do while flesheaters prey on them. People say stupid stuff to each other and gore ensues, you know what to expect. The dialogue is funny without trying too hard at being funny, cool old school punk and metal tunes, and Jackie "Joke Man" Martling manages to have a scene where he blurts out a bunch of jokes, haha, "What do you say to a woman with no arms or legs...NICE TITS!" Overall, I enjoyed this even though I didn't expect much out of it. It was made in 1990 and it still carried the innocent 80's b-movie spirit. The movie was short, only 72 minutes, IMDB says it's 90 minutes. I got this in a shitty Brentwood 4-pack called "Ghoul School" (the same 4-pack I got Filthy Mcnasty, ugh) so I wouldn't be surprised if it got cut to fit more movies on one DVD....although the Tempe release (the official release) is only 72 minutes long too. hmm, no clue how long it's suppose to be, but I was satisfied with what gore I saw.

Filthy McNasty (2002)

2006-11-30T23:14:00.000-08:00

When you ask people what the worst movie of all time is, people usually give a knee-jerk answer, naming whatever is convenient to rip on for either its commerical or overrated nature. For example, I will see people call "Pulp Fiction" the worst movie of all time just out of spite of it being overrated by pretentious artfags that foolishly think Quentin Tarantino is original. I'll also see people call "Underworld" the worst movie of all time just out of spite of it being a commerical piece of shit with no soul. But still, there are far worse things that could be done with the movie medium. As lame as those movies are, they are not "THE WORST". I actually think people take for granted the budget those movies had, which at least created something not Filthy Mcnasty. Seriously, these people clearly have not seen FILTHY MCNASTY, an abomination directed by the antichrist of movies known as Chris Seaver. He's to movies what Hitler was to Jews. Basically Filthy McNasty is a bunch of idiots standing outside their dorm and acting RETARDED. It's sad they think they're funny. "LOL, look at us, we're being conscious of our own camp value while saying stupid boring nonsensical shit outside this dorm hallway". These "moviemakers" hardly created anything. It is literally just a camcorder pointed at annoying fucks goofing around just to waste time cause they had nothing else better to do. Picture pre-schoolers playing "make believe," only instead of pre-schoolers it's a bunch of people you want to shoot in the face. You'll especially want to shoot the face of the guy that rubs some brown stuff on a fake looking fake penis (yes, a "fake of a fake", these people are so fucking cheap that they can't even afford a real fake penis). Was this suppose to be "sick" because a guy was jerking off by lubricating his dick with shit? The only sickness I felt was a homicidal sickness, the cure being endless rows of machine guns blasting at everyone involved in this atrocity like there's no tomorrow. I keep honestly wondering whether these people were even trying to make a movie. Anyone stupid enough to waste time while holding a camcorder in a dorm hallway can create this garbage. Not a shred of skill or vision used in any cringe-inducing second. A blind guy with down syndrome could do a better job on the cinematography. I can't believe this movie was even released, something this awful should be illegal along with child pornography and crack. This is really someone's embarassing home videos that somehow got picked up by the equally retarded Brentwood company for yet another low quality worthless DVD 4-pack. More proof there's no God, join me and be an atheist.

Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1994)

2006-11-28T23:08:00.000-08:00

This movie does weird, totally original things with sex. There's a scene with high flying martial artists fucking. They fuck like mad in mid-air and do tons of hyper-humping, it's like how Goku from Dragonball Z would nail a chick with a crotch strong enough to withstand massive repeated thrusting! There were even some "Street Fighter-like" special moves in the fucking like the spinning on the cock while the cock was in the chick or the super ejaculation blast that drenches the place with semen. This insane sex scene wasn't what the movie revolved around though, it was something just inserted into the movie somehow. The main story is about a girl and her love interest getting framed for murdering the girl's husband (who has a HUGE dick that could kill anything he fucks). This husband is killed by getting an aphrodisiac overdose which makes his penis explode and spray a shitstorm of blood. The story is actually interesting and there's more details to the messed-up love story and corruption that you just need to see for yourself. Anyways, as the title suggests, there's torture here because apparently court rooms back in the ancient times this film was set would employ barbaric methods to get someone to confess to a crime or to just simply execute them. Getting fingernails torn off, kneeling on broken plates, boob squishing, getting fucked by a wooden donkey, castration, and fingers being squeezed by an ingenious invention are some of the torture and execution methods we get a glimpse of. The movie is more of a sleazfests than gorefest though with strong sexual humor, an invisible rape that goes hilariously wrong, numerous boobs, and even a lesbian scene. Overall, a classic essential CAT III delivering the sleaze and violence. The insane high flying fuck is worth owning this movie alone!

Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

2006-11-26T18:27:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for non-stop cannibalism gore munching, I don't think this will satisfy your appetite. There were only a few actual eating human parts and as for gore in general, it's pretty gory, the two stand outs were a ridiculously huge shotgun blast right through a guy (yep, you see a bloody hole in him in all its gory detail) and the other being a limb of a guy at a gas station getting sawed up into lots of meaty red pieces. Besides violence, there is some sex for you tit fans. This one next door neighbor chick gets down right slutty. Overall, the fantastic story about a disease from Vietnam compelling people to bite others, which infects others and results in an epidemic in the city, is cheese galore for guys that know how to appreciate b-movie madness. It has the mechanics of a zombie invasion movie so should appeal to zombie fans. The acting is good too (John Saxon and the guy who's head gets drilled in Gates of Hell are here..that guy also got his weiner chopped off in Cannibal Ferox). Anyways, I’ve seen so many people trash Cannibal Apocalypse, don't let all the negative reviews get to you if you're a b-movie fan and haven’t seen this yet. The bitching is usually by someone expecting every movie to be as gory as Dead Alive or as realistic in gore as a surgery on the Learning Channel. Those idiots don’t have the patience and attention span to sit down and watch a zany movie idea from start to finish, no wonder all these worthless pseudo-snuff movies like August Underground are being made, those just appeal to some br00tal imbecile too stupid to follow an actual crazy storyline that has creativity. A cheeze, gore, and sleaze essential!

The Alien Factor (1978)

2006-11-26T18:10:00.000-08:00

Alien Factor has this amazing story about aliens crashing on earth, terrorizing people, getting people to act stupid about handling the problem, and the ending is a huge unexpected twist that got me giggling for days. There were awesome primitive lazer beam effects and a silly yet amusing explanation for many of the bizarre happenings. The best part about the movie was this freakishly tall alien walking on carpet covered stilts. It looked like he was going to tip over any second too. He also had this weird thing with swinging his right hand in a rhythm. Watch as people run in fear from this thing they probably had to help up from falling after filming the scene. And if you like claymation, there's one alien you'll be delighted to see in action. There's an epic battle between an unconvincing claymation alien creature that's so awesome for being so lame with the early camera tricks. The Alien Factor DVD doubles with another Don Dohler movie titled "Fiend", which I guess I could spare a few words about. Not as good as Alien Feactor but was pretty cool too, simple story about this neighborhood jerk that chokes people to death in order to gain energy to live longer. Nobody suspects him though (even if his murders are done in broad daylight). The one man to stop him is his next door neighbor that hates his loud music. Plenty of trademark Don Dohler cheesy lazer/light effects. Don Dohler is a genius filmmaker, Nightbeast is still my favorite of his cause of the all out video game lazers that "decimate" people and also cause of the gore. Anyways, get familiar with Dohler's work, he has his own style (which I can't say about all the replaceable hacks these days) and most of his movies have the same lovable dork actors that use the same names from their previous movies even! Alien Factor is mucho CHEEZE SUPREME!

Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)

2006-11-24T18:23:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAH!!! Oh my GOD! If you want CHEEZE, you got it! This is the ultimate cheeze movie for me. There really isn't much to the story. In the 1920's, some people get stranded on an island and want to escape because it's inhabited by a shitload of mysterious creatures that are really customized demonic barbie dolls from the looks of it. These creatures ask no questions and go straight to attacking, it's never explained why they're so pissed off and bloodthristy. Acid water puddles are another danger that lurks around the island too (one guy melts until he's a skeleton!). Between monster attacks, there are scenes where the characters get to know each other and one old man is a cranky asshole that pisses people off. The great thing is that the actors are genuinley trying to put on a performance of a lifetime with what little there is to work with. We see people screaming in utter agony at the top of their lungs as they have fake blood splattered on them and have to rub these demonic doll things up against their bodies to make the lifeless figures look alive and kicking. One woman getting attacked looked like she was crying while breast feeding the little fella! Seeing those "beast creatures" run and swing their arms is too much damn greatness in a movie alone. I don't know how these actors managed to not burst into laughter as they had to act attacked. I'm glad they remained professional instead of trying to act so conscious of how silly everything is. An ambitious 80's b-movies with no shame of how low the budget is.

Thanks to yours truly, you can witness ATTACKS of the BEAST CREATURES over here!

The Candy Snatchers (1973)

2006-11-24T17:42:00.000-08:00

A very solid and original "film noir" story with a gritty exploitation look and feel that could have only been done in the 70's. The movie starts off with three criminals kidnapping Candy, the daughter of a jewelry store manager. It was going to be simple, threaten to kill the girl if jewelry isn't delivered. Everything in the ransom seemed to go perfectly according to plan until something the kidnappers didn't see coming became a reality. This reality is funny in a dark ironic twist-of-fate kinda way that is contrary to the stereotypical "heroic father" figure. Turns out the father in "Candy Snatchers" has some immoral ulterior motives of his own and threats to kill his daughter just leave a big smile on his face. A mute innocent little boy (with a cranky bitch mother) happens to live right by the hill that the criminals are staying and hiding Candy at. What the kid ends up doing is drastic and creates the most bleak, ironic, memorable ending in a movie ever...yep, EVER! I haven't seen such a fucked-up ending since classics like "Stroszeck" and "Combat Shock". This has become a personal fav film of mines. It's a very cynical tale, a scathing satire on dreams, greed, and life in a dog eat dog society. A lot of people hate this film because it's not pure exploitation. Sure it has two rape scenes, a tied up blonde school girl, and an ear getting sliced off a corpse, but it doesn't exploit these elements enough to be mindless shock entertainment. There's a pretty good amount of violence and sleaze though so it is more raw than other pussy-whipped crime dramas. The DVD of Candy Snatchers looks great and comes with an old school poster. If you're a big fan of this site, YOU NEED THIS MOVIE!

Abby (1970)

2006-11-23T21:24:00.000-08:00

A black exorcist with 70’s sleaze and sex. Some funny looking demon possesses some woman and later makes her become an evil whore that wants to get fucked and treats her friends and family like shit, which is the opposite of who she is. Best scene is a mighty hard kick right square on her poor husband’s balls. You can feel the guy’s pain as the foot and testicles make contact. And the voice is fucking insane on the possessed chick. Actually a lot of this movie is insane. Love the goofy special effects and the way Abby goes from innocent to fucked-up is priceless. This is like my favorite blaxploitation film, they even got Blacula to be the Exorcist. It’s a damn shame the stupid corporate suits at Warner Brothers sabotaged the distribution and release of this movie cause they wanted to monopolize the “exorcism” genre and crushed all other movies about possession. Now I have to settle for a cheap bad quality DVD release while stupid shit like Darkness Falls gets better treatment. Poor Abby.

Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom (1972)

2006-11-23T20:47:00.000-08:00

A small handful of mildly bloody fight scenes and a decent amount of tits. Even one lesbian scene with nipples rubbing against each other. There were some torture scenes like depriving a girl the use of a bathroom after forcing her to drink water and also a bulb going up a vagina, but nothing graphics. What little violence and the boobs is all I really enjoyed from the movie and sadly it didn't make up a large percentage of this film, which is apparently about a strict-school where corrupt teachers tortured one student and the student's friends want to get revenege, leading to a series of blackmail and endless political mumbo jumbo that made me lose interest in the plot. It's a decent Pinky Violence film, has the right amount of sex, but ultra-light on violence and too heavy on boring political chit-chat, far from perfect. "Sex and Fury" is an essential pinky violence film, this one really isn't.

Axe (1977)

2006-11-23T18:51:00.000-08:00

AXE has that trademark 70's exploitation look and feel. Like I Spit on Your Grave, Fight For Your Life, and Last House on the Left, it involves someone that seems so harmless slowly exposing their darker side when confronted by evil. It all starts out when three criminals that are involved in a murder and did inhuman things to a poor grocery store woman worker hideout at a farmhouse where a girl and her paralyzed grandfather live. The two seem so weak and easy to abuse which is why the criminals plan to crash at their house and abuse their meekness. Two of the criminals even tried to rape the chick (the third criminal didn't want any part of this abuse though, he was a sensitive pussy type with a fro like that famous painter guy). Eventually the girl has to take out her revenege using sharp objects that lead to some bloodshed (the blood looking like primitive HG Lewis film blood). This movie actually reminds me of Roman Polanski's Repulsion because the girl seems to be a silent ticking-time bomb of craziness as well. Both the girls in Repulsion and Axe would hardly talk and had that cold yet innocent look in their face too. The killing of a rapist was even done in a similiar fashion with the same weapon. So in a way, you could say this is the even more minimalistic and cheaper, 70's sleaze/revenge exploitation version of Repulsion. Not a gorefest or anything, just a good simple tale of abuse and revenge.

Schramm (1993)

2006-11-23T18:23:00.000-08:00

A very unique film that takes an artistic experimental/weird approach at illustrating the fucked-up and depraved world of a serial killer. High brow, fancy cinematic techniques are employed to showcase something so low brow like extreme (and I mean EXTREME) gore and cold blooded murder. The scene where the guy nails his penis foreskin looked pretty damn painful. And there is a gross-out severed leg here in gory detail. Very shocking imagery as you can tell. Storywise the movie is simple (dying perveted serial killer that has weird hallucinations like a vagina with teeth and dentists that rip his eyeball out) but the movie tells the story unconventionally through abstract flashbacks as he is dead in a pool of paint and his own blood, which may confuse a viewer expecting a linear story. The movie doesn't even use that much dialogue. Through silence, natural sounds, and an ambient soundtrack, you get the raw and depressing mood the director was going for. Sleaze, Gore, Weirdness, and High-Art make this a personal fav of mines. The Barrel DVD has been recently easier to find now so get it before it's out of print again. From the German director of the infamous Nekromantik by the way.

Don't Go In the Woods Alone (1982)

2006-11-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

Not the gorefest I was expecting to see after all these years. "Gore" is more than just some fake blood, it has to involve chunks of flesh, organs, and guts. This movie only had the fake blood and the kills weren't as inventive, just standard stabs...and there still wasn't enough of that in this movie that felt like an eternity. Pretty average slasher in my book. Some cool blood splashing moments but the abundance of needless suspense padding the movie to oblivion, stretching the movie's length more than it needed to be, really killed the whole thing for me. There really isn't a story or anything to focus on, just random people sometimes getting killed or chased by a guy that looks like a freak from The Hills Have Eyes. The inept filmmaking is mildly funny at times in a Night of the Demon (the one with Bigfoot) way, but you can tell some scenes were intentionally funny, which ruins its so-bad-it's-funny classification for me. Maybe I need to watch this again when I have a better day, but I'm dissapointed it wasn't as fun and gory as I thought it would be. The music is what I couldn't stand the most. It was abused in almost every scene and was used as false alarm suspense most of the time, like the boy that cried wolf, only more monotonous sounding. A movie that builds this much suspense needs to deliver something to be suspensful about or else I just feel let down when the false alarms are so constant.

Skinned Alive (1989)

2006-11-21T18:27:00.000-08:00

Sure the box art is pretty damn gay, but it's a neat Ed Gein-esque story with a massive helping of the red juice! A family comprised of a crabby hag with an eye patch, her asshole son and asshole daughter go around traveling in their van and killing people to get skin for making high quality apparel. Sounds like something from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Motel Hell eh? One day their car breaks down in some small town and they reside in an unsuspecting Good Samaritan’s house along with his wife. As they live there the sadistic family goes on running their “business” at this home, which consists of skinning people alive. Skin carving is actually shown without any cuts. Watch the flesh get sliced as a blade runs through it. Funny thing though is this skin cutting looks like a bleeding flesh-colored football getting cut like a birthday cake (even the filmmakers mention the birthday cake thing). Skin does get ripped off too, exposing comical blood covered bones. It’s an awesome cheesefest, only the morbid crybabies that want serious “sick gore” will be disappointed. The only truly sick thing in the movie in my opinion was the sister stripping for the brother. That strip scene was kinda cool though, she cut off her clothes with a knife!..but still it was for her brother ewww. The gorier stuff happens when the hero of the movie (an alcoholic loser ex-cop with a wretched bitch ex-wife) gets his trusty machine gun to kill this sick family. Ridiculous machine gun blasting and a blade on the machine gun becomes blood and guts galore. That’s pretty much it. Watch out for a whole body that’s skinless.

Bread and Circus (2003)

2006-11-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

This movie plays out a lot like Bad Taste. It takes place mostly in grassy fields where people are running around killing each other until someone is left bloody and butchered. The gore, like Bad Taste, is exaggerated, gross, over-the-top, and comical so it truly does earn the title as the "Norwegian Bad Taste". One guy gets sliced in half with a sword and his guts spill out so this one guy can find his keys that were eaten. There are other sliced humans where you can see all their red gooey insides. Heads are left wide open so blood and mushy gore can gush. This other dude drop kicks some guy onto a tree branch so he can get impaled and his cartoon-ish heart pops out. Another guy gets kicked in the ass while taking a shit. When his ass bleeds, he sticks a beer bottle up his ass (you see it get painfully shoved up) to stop the bleeding. Suddenly he gets thirsty again and shits the bottle out to drink. Hell there’s even an alien in this movie and it involved a space-ship that cums into mother (literally “mother”) earth’s vagina (a vagina that people pop out of in the movie), it adds to the surreal weridness of it all. But unlike Bad Taste, Bread and Circus tackles deeps concepts such as identity and freedom. Apparently life moves like an assembly line in the movie. Mother earth plops you out and then you’re just left to fill some cookie-cutter standard of living where you walk across a path with arrows, have a brief case handcuffed to you, work for people richer than you, and then roll over dead one day in a world that was run by a corrupt king that employs a gun crazy force to keep you in track. People who are deemed undesirable for society are left in the woods where cannibalism takes place. One guy who lived this boring life wrote some radical, ten commandment-like shit, on some stone tablets. Years later a couple reads these words of wisdom and are inspired to start a violent revolution to break free from the king's power and society's limiting norms. They find a fuckload of weapons and start killing tons of people in the "system" including the unjust king and even one guy that looks like Eminem! The kill spree goes on for a long time until the end.

This movie could be enjoyed on two levels: as a mindless splatterfest or a mindful splatterfest. Depends if you can pick up the subtle metaphors and make sense of the scenes that seem like random weirdness to casual viewers. An impressive film for such a low budget with a small cast. Plus it was made in 2003, good to see a really werid and creative gross-out gore film come from that awful year.

Biozombie (1998)

2006-11-21T15:07:00.000-08:00

The movie starts out as a comedy about two guys that work in a VCD store at the mall up to hilarious antics then slowly it transforms into a really tense horror movie where everyone struggles to survive until the grim ending. There still is some intentional comic relief within the horror part of the movie, like people quarreling over the flavor of cup of noodles even when danger lurks. Stylized gore scenes were fun too, real smooth cartoonish actions that connect together and fall like dominos, like someting Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson would have executed. The blood and limbs fly and spill in a festive manner, not in a nasty disturbing way. It's a fairly modern movie (1998), but the zombies don't suck. These are slow creeping zombies splattered in generous amounts of blood and have fucked up faces. Sure the movie is set in a mall, but it's definitley not like Dawn of the Dead. Plus, unlike Romero's film, we get an explanation and see how the zombie infection started (apparently Iraqi bio-chemicals that looked like soda was accidentally given to a guy that was hit by a car). All the characters develop and show their true colors, even one zombie with a heart of gold. It's solidly written movie that manages to shift moods and atmosphere as intended without being sloppy. Don't expect extreme gore (like guts and organs) though since this is only a CAT II.

Wolf-Devil Woman (1982)

2006-11-19T12:56:00.000-08:00

Bizzare movie mongers, take note of Wolf-Devil Woman because this is one hell of a movie! A village is ruled by a guy called the Devil (a guy with a golden KKK outfit) who has the power to freeze people's blood. Apparently he wants everyone to submit to him or else they die. Some chick that shoots colored smoke, a bunch of ninjas that can teleport, and voodoo doll controlled zombies are his army. One couple tries to escape his empire in the snow with their baby but can't go on any longer so they cut themselves to keep the baby warm with their blood. Things get weirder when they start head-butting the snow so an avalanche can bury the kid and keep her safe. Over time the baby is raised by wolves and the wolves feed her rare ginseng that, when eaten, can keep people immune to the Devil's blood freezing power. Two guys discover her when they tried to find that ginseng too and later they teach her how to speak, which is IMPOSSIBLE to do with feral children in real life, I know this from being a psych student. It's also impossible for a chick raised in the wilderness to have make-up and look like Asia Carrera at her hottest (seriously this wolf chick is hot, no nudity though). From then on it's Wolf Woman doing stuff stupid according to civilization (like getting drunk) and then later she has to get revenge on the Devil and end his empire, resulting in major asskicking.

There's a lot of energy jam packed in the whole mix where sudden bursts of actions impact your senses hard. In the first couple minutes of the movie alone you already see some kinda strange crucifixion with odd lights and sounds at a thunder striking pace. All the super-hyper cuts when crazy shit happens made me feel woozy, like I was tripping on acid and got my face slammed while doing my imitation of how a tornado moves. There's a fun 70's oriental orchestra score too and a lot of sound effects and scenes that look like something from that show, the Six Million Dollar Man. The martial arts battles are violent, with bleeding scratches, blood sprays, and the occassional ripped limbs or decapitation. Overall, insane goofy cutting, cool fights, cheezy characters, fun soundtrack, laughable f/x (cartoon flames?!), and a ridiculous non-sensical b-movie story makes this a true winner with weird cinema freaks like me. I think there's a hard to find VCD, but I got a bootleg from weirdworldcinema.com instead.

Run and Kill (1993)

2006-11-18T10:41:00.000-08:00

A mild-mannered fat man's life goes to hell when one day he finds his wife with another man and ends up in a bar getting stupidly drunk where he did something he'll regret, he accidentally hired a hitman to kill his wife. Not only is he depressed about his wife's death the next day, he also can't pay the hitman what he owes so they start messing with him, his business, and his little daughter for not paying his debt....things still get more fucked-up after trying to solve the debt problem though. Lets just say it gets him into a mess with a psychotic killing-machine that sheds not a single ounce of mercy for the elderly or children (he does something to a kid that is ridiculously sadistic and would offend a whole lot of people). It's a really clever over-the-top violent thriller. There's a good amount of machine guns blasting, explosions, hard-hitting fights that make you really feel the pain, and blood spilling (especially in one nasty scene where a guy gets bled to death). When the mild-mannered fatty finally tries to seek revenge in his own hands, he literally does "RUN and KILL!" and is more pissed than ever. A classic CAT III, it delivers the sadism, mean-spirit, and violence that the "genre" is notorious for.

Eternal Evil of Asia (1995)

2006-11-18T00:18:00.000-08:00

So a guy with an actual dickhead rubs his throat when two evil wizards have to bang each other to increase their power (they are banging each other while they are flying and fighting a guy), a chick gives a blowjob to a guy’s spirit being projected miles away (looks like she’s giving head to thin air, the only other movie that I know of that did this was Bad Lieutenant), some guy gets a curse that makes him so hungry that he starts biting people and then resorts to eating his arm until it's left skinless...yep, as you can tell this is a real winner, great movie. It’s actually well written with the love story, revenge angle, crazy magic, violence, and sleazy humor, never a dull moment. The literal dickhead thing still amazes me. He even took a piss! One of my favorite CAT III films.

Boarding House aka Housegeist (1981)

2006-11-18T00:15:00.000-08:00

Everything about it is awfully shitty. And there in lies its beauty. This was one of the early Shot-on-Video horror movies and it’s amazing in its amateurish nonsensical failures. The winning elements are a random pie fight, a wealth of tits and ass, tacky schlock gore with some guts, primitive computer text with a laughable sound as each sentence is typed, weird telepathic meditations, and a spectacular ending that just drips with cheese every second cause it involves that telepathy thing to fight a ghost with nice tits. Story involves a haunted house now inhabited by some ultra-sleazeball that does weird meditations and only wants a couple top-notch chicks as roommates in the house. Some stupid stuff happens throughout the movie (a rape flashback where everyone still had their clothes on) then all of a sudden later in the video they’re ready to have a party (which will take part in the end where all hell breaks loose of course).

Monsturd (2003)

2006-11-18T00:09:00.000-08:00

I was expecting stupid fun but all I got was stupid. There isn't anything funny at all. It was so bad it simply sucked. You'd think with a name like "Monsturd" there'd be some hilarious disgusting scenes, like the vomit scene in Bad Taste. All the shit jokes were so obvious though. Any idiot could come up with this bland ultra-tame/G-rated dialogue. They also have awful music being abused in every scene. Give it a rest, geesh. There aren't any violent/gore parts either. When the lame monster attacks, they just show people screaming and water splashing with some tootsie roll stains apparently. The monster only gets shown a couple times. The worst part of the movie is that it takes elements of the thriller genre (which it tries to spoof as well as horror) too seriously. There were details they just spent too much time on explaining. I wanted to watch a movie, not follow something pointless. I can't believe I sat through this mess. The ending felt like they just ran out of ideas so they ended everything in a snap with bullshit CGI. What a shitty movie (very appropriate description for the title eh?). The only redeeming quality about this movie is I'll have something to throw at people in case everything else I own disappears and I have the need for a projectile. I’d probably only need a projectile just to break another copy of Monsturd though. Ugh, just take a look at the year this was made, I should have known better.

Deathdream (1974)

2006-11-18T00:05:00.000-08:00

A solider that died in war returns to his small town home after his family was told he was dead. His arrival was a joyous moment until he acts like a silent antisocial asshole and kills some people and a dog. The movie isn't cheesy or trashy and has a very serious unsettling tone, utilizing the archetype horrors of a zombie/serial killer to illustrate the real horrors of war's affect on society beyond the battlefield. It's a depressing tale with some genuinley creepy make-up and mysterious atmosphere. The social commentary was subtle, using metaphors to get the message out in clever ways (ex: the blood addiction parallels the drug addiction in NAM). Tom Savini's first movie but not that much gore, only a few blood splatter and a gruesome neck wound. You mindless gorehounds would be dissapointed. The DVD from Blue Undergorund is a must own and has interesting extras. This is like my fav Bob Clark film. A lot of people don't realize this movie was from the same guy that brought us "Porky's" and "A Christmas Story" (the one where Ralphie shoots his eye out).

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain (1981)

2006-11-17T23:57:00.000-08:00

It’s a standard psycho slasher movie but what sets it apart from most others is the over-the-top brutality. One unfortunate babysitter gets her back hammered in, leaving deep holes within her flesh that spit blood. Then there’s the infamous end where the weird fuck flashbacks to some perverted kinky shit he witnessed and is the origin for his insanity. The bowtie wearing little boy (the psycho as a kid) does some major damage with an axe, chopping limbs off and leaving gushing blood fountains in his sex-crazed father and some whore. There’s not that many kills throughout the whole movie but the few kills present give new meaning to the word bloodbath. As for the story, it’s nothing amazing really. It’s just about a guy from a mental hospital whose medication doesn’t work and is trying to find his kids and wife who has a boyfriend now. And as he is hunting them down, he kills a few random people on the way and has nightmarish flashbacks of scenes from that one axe massacre he delivered to his own dad. A bit too many slow mushy family-drama scenes that have nothing to do with the psycho (they all have to do with the wife, her boyfriend, and the kids) but the killer that freaks out about sleazy sexual stuff and kills shit until it’s a bloody mess makes this a worthy viewing for gorehounds and b-movie fans. Tom Savini is credited for working on some of the awesome splatter effects but has denied ever having to do anything with the movie. Even though pictures of him on the set have surfaced, it’s said that he was just the consultant while Ed French did the actual stuff. But on the imdb.com board some guy said he emailed Mr. French and he said he didn’t do the effects and didn’t want to name the people either. That’s a shame nobody is taking credit for this splatterfest. Make sure you get it uncut if you ever buy it, fuck the edited version! Fuck the edited version of anything anyways. I got my copy from Slasher Index. Not a "real" release but the quality and package looks good and you know it's made by a fellow fan that wouldn't give you a crappy cut version.

The infamous patricide scene here!

Darkness (1993)

2006-11-17T23:49:00.000-08:00

This entire movie was an excuse to show off gore and it actually works without feeling boring in its pointlessness and weakass story that has cringe-inducing lousy actors. I don’t even remember much of a story. There was hardly ever any dialogue and you see people either running away from or killing vampires. Sure it’s a vampire movie but has a zombie atmosphere the way that there’s a massive invasion. The gore is astronomical, liberal amount of blood drenching and gooey flesh! I love how the vampires violently slurp up a whole mess of blood from people, unlike in most movies where one pussy bite is given. I also like how the vampires not only melt in the sun they EXPLODE! Near the end is probably one of the goriest scenes in movie history. A shitload of vampires start having bubbling skin with their flesh oozing off and then they just blow up into bloody gore chunks.

Headless Eyes (1971)

2006-11-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

What if Driller Killer was directed, written, produced, and even edited by Ed Wood? You’d get a comical disaster like Headless Eyes! This is an art-house film gone wrong on every level. You got horrible goofy cuts and sound, cheesy 70’s music, actors surprisingly keeping a straight face when any other human would explode in laughter, and a wacky b-movie premise that takes itself too seriously as if it was meant to be a legit drama. What happens is a down-on-his-luck artist gets his eyeball poked out by a spoon when he broke into some chick’s house to steal money for rent. When his eye gets ripped out, the same sound clip of the guy crying “ah! My eye!” is looped as he squirms on the ground in pain looking like an idiot while bystanders look on like idiots too. Since then, our protagonist has been an antisocial asshole-type starving artist, obsessed with eyeball-themed art, which requires him to stalk and kill random people and take you know what. Of course the story isn’t complete without the cop determined to find out who the killer is behind these ghastly murders and one dumb girl that befriends this bohemian serial killer. There’s a scene where some ugly old crazy lady just sits and laughs menacingly as she repeatedly says, “I know who did it, I know who did it”. She never does specify who she knew did what though but this still freaks out our psycho artist of course and we see him flee the scene with an oddball 70’s soundtrack. Overall, this movie is worth getting on VHS (no DVD yet) if you know how to appreciate the absurd brilliance in cheese flicks. Not really that gory though and the picture of “eyeless heads” on the box’s back is nowhere in the movie. There are a couple removed eyeballs covered in blood, they look so tacky and plastic, that’s about it for the gore.

If you want it, Screamtorium DVD probably has some good looking DVD copies left.

Blood Beat (1985)

2006-11-17T23:33:00.000-08:00

Well after all these years, I finally got a copy of Bloodbeat in my hands..and it's probably the cheeziest thing I've ever owned! It really had a Don Dohler (Nightbeast, Alien Factor) feel with the bad 80's lazer effects all over the place and 80's b-movie sound effects (they sound like Atari). The samurai ghost slasher was surrounded by blue light rays and people would shoot telepahtic lazer beams or whatever at it. You have to see this to believe it. The "telepathic lazer" battle reminds of Boarding House but the way the people move and the look on their faces is even more insane! It looked like they were pissed off while having a siezure, hah, is that even possible? Gore level is dissapointing but the Samurai breathing like Darth Vader and talking like a lamb makes up for it. The best part of the movie is when everything in a kitchen starts shaking then flies at this one guy, he gets attacked by a packet of Ramen noodles hahaha. A super awesome cheesefest. What makes it even better is you can tell this was a serious effort to make a creepy supernatural flick but the retarded everything overpowers any legitimacy! Good luck tyring to find a VHS copy (the only real release it has and always will have cause no company will put this out haha), if you really wanna see it my buddy at Screamtorium DVD makes cool DVD-R copies of it, check with him.

Killer Workout aka Aerobicide (1986)

2006-11-17T23:25:00.000-08:00

A hybrid of lame 80’s aerobics and a lame 80’s slasher with some lame fight between two meatheads and lame music (where the lyrics consist of counting haha) makes this totally awesome. Not much to the plot, typical slasher formula: People are dying at a fitness club, who could it be and why? You got the standard hothead cop on the case and a few dorks that could be suspects. The ending is actually clever, makes you think about the justice system and even makes you wonder who really was the murderer, but the cheesy as fuck burn victim make-up strips away any legitimacy this movie could have merited. Oh and one of the aerobic instructors is really hot, in one scene you get to see her boobs. A must see for cheese fans that know how to appreciate ridiculous concepts with an even more ridiculous execution (haha, the fistfight in the parking lot between the two meatheads still keeps me cracking, I like how some chick all of a sudden wants to bang the winner right after)

Revenge of the Radioactive News Reporter (1990)

2006-11-17T23:20:00.000-08:00

As soon as you see the box it looks like a Toxic Avenger rip-off. Well the make-up kinda screams that but overall this wasn’t as goopy and bloody as a Troma film. A very sappy love story with a few b-movie elements, reminds me of Darkman on a lower budget and cheese-stenched actors. Basically some reporter who knows too much about a greedy corporation’s toxic pollution is thrown into a pool of green water where the corporation thought he died. Little did they know he became a mutated freak! Now his mission is to stop the corporation from killing his girlfriend who too knows “too much”, re-connect with his girlfriend that thinks he’s dead, and last but not least, he needs uhh..revenge!…you see where this is going. Both intentional and unintentional humor (the satire on corporations was clever) and one detached head are a few highlights. It’s all right, I wouldn’t bother hunting it down though. No boring parts, mildly fun, kill a Saturday afternoon with it.

Rejuvenator (1988)

2006-11-17T23:12:00.000-08:00

Healthy dose of gore, a cheesy all girl 80's band, and a neat story make this a worthy viewing. There are some great brain eating scenes, freaky mutations, and creature barf that oughta please fans of weird slimy f/x. The story is just about how some washed up old actress is funding a scientist's research on an anti-aging drug. When she gets impatient and uses the medication in its dangerous experimental phase, everything seems fine...at first. Her dreams have come true but later dreams become nightmare and all hell breaks loose! When she transforms to a creature, eating human brains is the only way to morph back to normal. It plays out like a Jekyl and Hyde movie. No DVD release yet and the bootlegs are more expensive than getting an original VHS, just get a tape for a couple bucks if you want it.

Rocktober Blood (1984)

2006-11-17T23:06:00.000-08:00

Heavy metal themed horror movies don’t get any better than this. The soundtrack is the main highlight in the movie. It’s beyond EPIC! The singer decapitates a chick, rips the heart out of a chick, and rips some guts too as he sings “Killer on the Loose” live on stage in front of a dimwitted audience. “I’m Back,” and “Rainbow Eyes” are other killer songs performed on stage as unintentional hilarity ensues. I got to admit (as do other Rocktober Blood fans) that the movie does have some dreadfully slow parts in the middle. It consists of stretched out suspense. Normally that would shit a movie over for me but Rocktober Blood totally redeems itself and more with the awesome beginning and awesome ending. I can overlook that crappy middle because of the opening kills and ending kills (with music!). The story is about some rockstar (Billy) going crazy one day in the studio and killing people that happened to be there. He was later sentenced to the electric chair. Couple years later, the chick of the band continues the band and starts the Rocktober Blood tour. Strange things start happening though. The chick starts being haunted by Billy (but I thought he was dead, oh no!). Is this Billy a ghost? Is he only in her head? Is he even Billy? Find out yourself by sitting through a horrible movie just for the shocking conclusion, badass music, and sweet nacho-cheesy kills! You must find out what Rainbow Eyes is or you’re not my friend...no wonder I don’t have that many friends

Zipperface (1992)

2006-11-17T22:59:00.000-08:00

I was intrigued by the name Zipperface. It's like Leatherface, only with a zipper. It was also an S&M slasher! The killer looked like a total freak motherfucker. I thought to myself that this could be a sleazy cheesegore geek's wetdream right? It was as if it was too good to be true..and it was. I ended up getting a tame pussy-whipped soap opera that could have easily been a made for TV movie on the Lifetime channel! I'm not even saying that to be funny, that's EXACTLY what it is like. Why the fuck was this movie even categorized as a horror movie? And the red lingerie the hot little lady was wearing on the cover was nowhere to be found in the entire movie. The assholes behind this atrocity should be sued for false advertisment. She gets a nude scene but only to make "love" to some gay ass artfag photographer. The entire movie takes itself too seriously as a mystery solving cop drama with the addition of some cliche love story. The killings were as weak as a glass of water watered down. I still do keep my copy of this ultra-light reject Soap Opera pilot so I could add it to my museum of stupidity. So far the museum has Surf Ninjas and 3 Ninjas. Both family-oriented movies being more violent and sadistic than this!!!

They Don’t Cut the Grass Anymore (1985)

2006-11-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

I've never seen anything like it. The CHEEZIEST gore ever! And lots of it! It was way over the top. I couldn't believe someone would actually use cloth painted purple and soaked in fake blood as skin to peel off a skull...hell, I couldn't believe anyone would film a scene where a guy peels off skin until a skull is bone-dry to begin with...this happens on more than one occasion too! The gore scenes, besides being so stupid, were also pretty long. You got a guy ripping a dead body's skin like it was wet tissue and there's a ridiculous amount of red gooey stuff splattering everywhere for a pretty long time. We see the guy squishing all this gore between his fingers as time passes. You'll find yourself giggling at how extremely gratuitous all the gushy gore is. It's like the stretched out primitive gore scenes in Wizard of Gore but much worse in f/x quality. As for the story, it's about two psychotic gardeners that realize they hate society and go around killing people in hilarious fashions. Somehow there's social commentary and profound statements about the commercial culture of yuppies (this is best illustrated in the scene where one of the gardeners hacks at a trendy magazine with an axe). The messages aren't preachy though and are delivered in a subtle campy fashion, the way it should be. A heaping shitload of chopped limbs, ripped entrails, TONS of crazy cheap looking gore, and cynical yet comical dialogue is what you get in this movie. There is one girl that is relentlessly butchered. The one guy just doesn’t stop after sawing off her leg, ripping her stomach open, squishing EVERY INCH of her insides from almost head to toe. Damn, the woman’s boob was even a victim to this massive onslaught.

Diary of a Serial Killer (1995)

2006-11-17T18:24:00.000-08:00

Wow, this is like a CAT III version of the classic sick flick Maniac (1980) but as depressing and mean-spirited as another classic Henry:Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986). The story is told from prison as flashbacks and it's about a lonley guy with a boring wife and a daughter. He's not content with his life and has some fucked up mental problems that make him a sleazeball into kinky bizzare shit. This guy goes around looking for hookers so he can kill them because he believes he's creating a new life for them. Apparently he hates women being hookers and wants them to reincarnate into a better life. Wanting them to stop being hookers doesn't stop him from indulging in sick pleasures before "sending them off to their next life" though. He'll have rough S&M sex, kill and torture them in brutal fashions (like sticking dynamite up the joytrail or burning it with an iron), and then he'll even cut off their boobs/vagina/skin to put on a manequin (just like in Maniac) or save a piece of their hair for his diary (hence the title "Diary of a Serial Killer"). It's not a gorefest as the story allows it to be, (it's a sleazefest) but you do get some decent blood splashing and see severed boobs turned to leather. There are scenes of necrophilia and cannibalism/blood drinking too so you can say this guy is like a Chinese Ed Gein. Sometimes he'll go on disturbing psychotic rants and play with his victims, so fans of insane killers should take note of this film. Overall, I wouldn't say this is pure shock exploitation (although you can easily enjoy it on that level) because there are profound statements made and a lot of emotion going on in the complicated relationship between the main character and his wife's hot relative that moves in his house.

Blue Laser sells the VCD (only official release of it that I know of), worth checking out if you like dirty sleaze and want to see what goes on in an insane person's head.

Seventh Curse (1986)

2006-11-14T21:44:00.000-08:00

From the director of Story of Ricky, here's an 80's horror action/adventure/comedy gem filled with tons of crazy violent fights, cartoonish gore, and the greatest cheezy monster/ghost battle EVER! The story starts out when some guy tries to save this chick in a jungle from a bizzare sacrifice to a rotten skeleton zombie God. Because he interrupted this ritual, he gets a blood curse which makes his body suddenly burst blood like everyday (cool ain't it?). From then on him with the help of a badass warrior guy try to find the cure before he bleeds to death. He manages to get into some crazy shit like fighting kung-fu monks on top of a gigantic buddha statue (it's HUGE and even ends up bleeding blood like a waterfall from its eyes when they pull its eyes outs).

Because this is from the genius behind Story of Ricky, expect the comical gore and strange creatures. At one point in the movie, a tiny ghost creature that looks like part mutated fetus and part sperm battles that one skeleton zombie God that transforms into a big slimy flying monster that looks like an alien from Alien but beefier, the tranformation is mindblowing, I can't even put it in words so I just uploaded it to youtube here. This is simply the best monster battle I've ever seen. They fight until the ridiculously gory end when one of them gets ripped up into pieces literally. Things still end up getting gorier when Chow Yun Fat is armed with a bazooka and uses it...more than once! Chow Yun Fat used to be in some of the best Asian movies ever..now he does mainstream US gayness.

Other things worth mentioning is a chick cutting her boob to feed a guy a piece of it, that ghost creature bursting out of a guy's stomach (over here!), kids being crushed between huge stones so their blood can be used for rituals, a brutal booby trap that rips a guy in half in mid-air, and this one fat guy who's flesh starts falling off and then he rips open his stomach which spills a bunch of worms. There was also a great evil yet fun atmosphere cinematography-wise and there was a lot of skilled fight scenes, better kung fu than in Story of Ricky, although I still prefer Ricky, which is the goriest offering from Ngau Kai Lam. Well this movie is still simply brilliant anyways. I don't know if my copy was uncut though, I have the Universe Lazer DVD which was a pain in the ass to get cause it's OOP, the box said 81 minutes but the movie only played 77 minutes and that was even counting the credits. I've seen other reviews mention this flick as a CAT III before but my DVD said CAT II. IMDB lists it as a CAT II as well. I thought it was pretty damn gory for a CAT II film but if there's a CAT III uncut version out there (which I doubt but I'll look into), then goddamn I need that shit pronto!

Slithis (1978)

2006-11-13T23:38:00.000-08:00

The box art makes it seem like an undiscovered cheeze classic (like another Nightbeast) but I felt like I was watching an extra long episode of C-Span on sleeping pills. It's a big shame that the monster (who looked and sounded awesome) was practically just a brief guest in the entire thing. It's as dissapointing as a porno with the hottest chick in the entire movie doing only a short blowjob scene with her clothes on (I hate when that happens, more chick less dick!). They should call Slithis "High School Journlist Teacher's Mundane Adventures in Talking" because that was what 99% of the movie was. The few scenes that Slithis attacks though are pretty cool with how he makes pissed off sounds as he gropes people. He manages to uncover a chick's tit for a second, strange for a PG movie. Oh yeah, the origin of the monster is pretty gay, I think he was mud or something. I'm not sure if it's worth picking up or not. Maybe it is just for the novelty value of seeing a funny looking monster for a couple seconds and bragging to people about owning a bad movie called "Slithis" when you get into discussions about how much pain you can tolerate. Trying to sit through this disaster will give you the most painful yawn ever!

Welcome to Spring Break (1988)

2006-11-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

A decent slasher mystery by Harry Kirkpatrick aka Umberto Lenzi of Cannibal Ferox (not a gorefest like that film though). What this film lacks in gore, it makes up for in cheeziness. There's a tough biker gang called the Demons with a Mexican leader, a pervert worker at a hotel peeping into a slut's room where she bangs dimwitted rich people for money, a religious zealot scumbag with a whore of a daughter that pisses him off, John Saxon as a crooked cop, and the most hilarious thing is the electric shock murders the killer (a silent biker) employs on his victims. These kills are amsuing with the bad 80's light effects and burning corpses. No extreme gore outcomes but just seeing people shocked is priceless. I didn't find myself bored throughout the film even if it spent most of the time with a dorky football player and a chick from a bar trying to find out who killed his best friend. The football player and bar chick have a romantic thing going on of course. Because this movie is set during Spring Break, you do get glimpses of partying asshole college kids at the beach, decent amount of tits and ass. The killer's secret identity becomes painfully obvious early on in the film but the fun is in seeing the campiness of it all play out until the inevitable and predictable ending. The movie works both on the intentional and unintentional comedy.

Blind Warrior (1985)

2006-11-12T20:37:00.000-08:00

Now this movie rules! Lots of the splashing red stuff as swords impale, hack, decapitate, and even slice people in half. There's a scene where the Blind Warrior shoots a fireball and blows up one guy's head, simply amazing. I bought a bootleg off some site that doesn't exist anymore for some reason, the pic you see is a scan I did from the bootleg DVD case. (EDIT: Site I bought it from is back online here, check with them for a copy) Hard to find movie with pretty much no info on the internet but try to track it down if you like gory kung fu and really violent martial arts flicks with weird cheezy effects. This is like an Indonesian Shogun Assassin with elements of freaky mysticism and fantasy/adventure. Story involves some village with the help of the badass Blind Warrior (who has a monkey companion sometimes!) fighting a corrupt evil sleazoid ruler that abuses power and has sex with chicks in a pool of pink pellets that look like Strawberry flavored Dippin Dots (I know...what the fuck?!). There's also some gigantic Demon statue with light up eyes that eveyrone worships. Sad that there's no real DVD while stupid shit like Surf Ninjas does. Barry Prima's Warrior needs a DVD too!

Cool video clip from youtube over here

Cannibal Ferox (1981)

2006-11-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

Well, if you're like me, you must have rushed to get Grindhouse's Cannibal Ferox release this Halloween. DVD looks great and even has a kickass poster. As for the movie, classic Italian splatterfest with legendary gore scenes in horror history. We got the penis cutting, eye gouging, an inventive head slicing, boobs poked with a hook, and repugnant gut and gore munching. Cannibal Holocaust I always thought was a more profound movie storywise but Cannibal Ferox is not without its merits when concerning the drastic clash two cultures can have . There is a genuine animal slay that I'm not fond of, but the film as a whole I admire for it's raw and brutal depiction of silly Westerners not knowing what and who they're fucking with in the Jungle.

Crazy Love (1987)

2006-11-12T18:56:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised Mondo Macbro released this, they usually release b-movie trash like Lady Terminator and For Your Height Only (Filipino Midget James Bond parody that's ridiculously inept haha). Crazy Love is one of those tragic epic dramas that have powerful fucked up endings you'll always remember. The movie is about 3 different profound moments (50's, 60's, and 70's) of a loser's life, pretty depressing but there's some odd subtle dark humor and a bittersweet ending. In the 50's he was an innocent boy that dreamt of fantastic romance after watching a movie with some princess. In the 60's he's a pimply reject (and I mean PIMPLY) that starts getting depressed and drunk when he's frustrated over how the biggest slut in town won't bang him and the girl he has a crush on only danced with him when he dressed up like the "Invisible Man" using toilet paper (metaphor of how he can only be noticed with the "bandages" perhaps?). And in the 70's, that's when he hits rock bottom, trying to capture that long lost romantic vision he had as a kid by doing something drastic and even disturbing. I think the taboo breaking, comical acne make-up (although in real life it can look like that), and a guy showing a kid how to masturbate is what made this movie too illegitimate for high-brow critics at the time. Sean Penn and Francis Ford Coppola were big fans of this movie too. One of the most tragic movies I've seen in a while and in a weird unique way very uplifiting, like a fairy tale for the cynic. It's one of my personal fav movies cause I could relate to the character kinda, the story is told so well, and the atmosphere is stunning. Don't expect a sleazefest or extreme violence though like most other Mondo Macbro releases have to offer, cause you will be very dissapointed.

Brother of Darkness (1994)

2006-11-12T18:55:00.000-08:00

Cool CAT III wtih a good amount of sleaze, violence, and insanity even if it does get mushy with the love story at times. The villain is pretty fucked up. He's ridiculously in and out of jail, rapes his wife, beats his kid, later sells his wife and kid off, treats his parents like shit, drives his mother to attempt suicide, and worst of all hit his adopted kid brother in the crotch which prevents him from ever having an erection in life and leads to a complicated love story with a miserable ending. The story is structured like in Daughter of Darkness and has two actors from that movie (Lily Chung and Anthony Wong). Both movies took place in a courtroom where it's debated whether the defendant was justified in achieving brutal revenge on the villain. And from interrogation in the courtoom, we are given glimpses of flashbacks, mostly sex scenes, the villain being an asshole, and some bloody fights. The funniest flashback was when the guy who couldn't get an erection finds his girlfriend masturbating in the bathtub and gets pissed off cause he knows his penis was not pleasurable enough.