Monday, November 13, 2006

Slithis (1978)

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Welcome to Spring Break (1988)



A decent slasher mystery by Harry Kirkpatrick aka Umberto Lenzi of Cannibal Ferox (not a gorefest like that film though). What this film lacks in gore, it makes up for in cheeziness. There's a tough biker gang called the Demons with a Mexican leader, a pervert worker at a hotel peeping into a slut's room where she bangs dimwitted rich people for money, a religious zealot scumbag with a whore of a daughter that pisses him off, John Saxon as a crooked cop, and the most hilarious thing is the electric shock murders the killer (a silent biker) employs on his victims. These kills are amsuing with the bad 80's light effects and burning corpses. No extreme gore outcomes but just seeing people shocked is priceless. I didn't find myself bored throughout the film even if it spent most of the time with a dorky football player and a chick from a bar trying to find out who killed his best friend. The football player and bar chick have a romantic thing going on of course. Because this movie is set during Spring Break, you do get glimpses of partying asshole college kids at the beach, decent amount of tits and ass. The killer's secret identity becomes painfully obvious early on in the film but the fun is in seeing the campiness of it all play out until the inevitable and predictable ending. The movie works both on the intentional and unintentional comedy.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Blind Warrior (1985)


Now this movie rules! Lots of the splashing red stuff as swords impale, hack, decapitate, and even slice people in half. There's a scene where the Blind Warrior shoots a fireball and blows up one guy's head, simply amazing. I bought a bootleg off some site that doesn't exist anymore for some reason, the pic you see is a scan I did from the bootleg DVD case. (EDIT: Site I bought it from is back online here, check with them for a copy) Hard to find movie with pretty much no info on the internet but try to track it down if you like gory kung fu and really violent martial arts flicks with weird cheezy effects. This is like an Indonesian Shogun Assassin with elements of freaky mysticism and fantasy/adventure. Story involves some village with the help of the badass Blind Warrior (who has a monkey companion sometimes!) fighting a corrupt evil sleazoid ruler that abuses power and has sex with chicks in a pool of pink pellets that look like Strawberry flavored Dippin Dots (I know...what the fuck?!). There's also some gigantic Demon statue with light up eyes that eveyrone worships. Sad that there's no real DVD while stupid shit like Surf Ninjas does. Barry Prima's Warrior needs a DVD too!

Cool video clip from youtube over here

Cannibal Ferox (1981)



Well, if you're like me, you must have rushed to get Grindhouse's Cannibal Ferox release this Halloween. DVD looks great and even has a kickass poster. As for the movie, classic Italian splatterfest with legendary gore scenes in horror history. We got the penis cutting, eye gouging, an inventive head slicing, boobs poked with a hook, and repugnant gut and gore munching. Cannibal Holocaust I always thought was a more profound movie storywise but Cannibal Ferox is not without its merits when concerning the drastic clash two cultures can have . There is a genuine animal slay that I'm not fond of, but the film as a whole I admire for it's raw and brutal depiction of silly Westerners not knowing what and who they're fucking with in the Jungle.

Crazy Love (1987)



I'm surprised Mondo Macbro released this, they usually release b-movie trash like Lady Terminator and For Your Height Only (Filipino Midget James Bond parody that's ridiculously inept haha). Crazy Love is one of those tragic epic dramas that have powerful fucked up endings you'll always remember. The movie is about 3 different profound moments (50's, 60's, and 70's) of a loser's life, pretty depressing but there's some odd subtle dark humor and a bittersweet ending. In the 50's he was an innocent boy that dreamt of fantastic romance after watching a movie with some princess. In the 60's he's a pimply reject (and I mean PIMPLY) that starts getting depressed and drunk when he's frustrated over how the biggest slut in town won't bang him and the girl he has a crush on only danced with him when he dressed up like the "Invisible Man" using toilet paper (metaphor of how he can only be noticed with the "bandages" perhaps?). And in the 70's, that's when he hits rock bottom, trying to capture that long lost romantic vision he had as a kid by doing something drastic and even disturbing. I think the taboo breaking, comical acne make-up (although in real life it can look like that), and a guy showing a kid how to masturbate is what made this movie too illegitimate for high-brow critics at the time. Sean Penn and Francis Ford Coppola were big fans of this movie too.
One of the most tragic movies I've seen in a while and in a weird unique way very uplifiting, like a fairy tale for the cynic. It's one of my personal fav movies cause I could relate to the character kinda, the story is told so well, and the atmosphere is stunning. Don't expect a sleazefest or extreme violence though like most other Mondo Macbro releases have to offer, cause you will be very dissapointed.

Brother of Darkness (1994)


Cool CAT III wtih a good amount of sleaze, violence, and insanity even if it does get mushy with the love story at times. The villain is pretty fucked up. He's ridiculously in and out of jail, rapes his wife, beats his kid, later sells his wife and kid off, treats his parents like shit, drives his mother to attempt suicide, and worst of all hit his adopted kid brother in the crotch which prevents him from ever having an erection in life and leads to a complicated love story with a miserable ending. The story is structured like in Daughter of Darkness and has two actors from that movie (Lily Chung and Anthony Wong). Both movies took place in a courtroom where it's debated whether the defendant was justified in achieving brutal revenge on the villain. And from interrogation in the courtoom, we are given glimpses of flashbacks, mostly sex scenes, the villain being an asshole, and some bloody fights. The funniest flashback was when the guy who couldn't get an erection finds his girlfriend masturbating in the bathtub and gets pissed off cause he knows his penis was not pleasurable enough.